Friend encounters home intruder

richc

richc

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I'm at a software conference and ran into an old friend. He's a good guy, albeit a bit nutty. He's a big motorcycle enthusiast, and actually is a competitor.

He starts telling me a story. About two months ago his wife wakes up and hears a noise. At first she figures it is one of the kids just getting home. Then she sees a shadow in the bedroom.

She wakes my buddy. At first he is kinda drowsy, then he realizes what is going down. He's a good sized guy, and jumps out of bed taking off after said intruder.

The guy is younger and has a head start. The guy breaks a bottle at the bottom of the outside stairs, and my buddy steps in the broken glass.

They call 911. The cops say get out of the house and in your car now. Lock the doors and start your engine, just in case there are others. LE arrive and send a dog through the house looking for others.

Turns out there have been quite a few of these burglaries in the vicinity. The burglars are known to be violent. My buddy and his family are lucky.

This guy knows I shoot. I ask him about a firearm for home protection. He says he's afraid of firearms.

I push him... so you're more afraid of a firearm than you are of a home intruder? He won't give. He lives in the midwest and firearms ownership is not an issue in his state. But he avoids the subject.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. He's just dead set against the idea. I suppose it is possible he is a legally unable to own a firearm, as he has had a rather wild ride in life. Or his wife is an anti. But I think he'd tell me that.

So how the hell does one, under these circumstances, prove that a firearm is the proper choice for protection the life and safety of your family?

I dunno... I'm just confused.

Thanks,

Rich
 
It's possible he's had some traumatic life experience associated with firearms and it's messing with his head... and they can't separate the fact that the gun wasn't responsible for whatever "it" was...... Maybe he is close to someone who committed suicide with a firearm, or some other event like that.

Another possibility is he's a prohibited person and is ashamed of it to the extent that he doesn't want to reveal it.

When people back away that quickly from the subject there is usually a tough nut to crack in there someplace.

-Mike
 
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Take him shooting. Show him they aren't out to get him. Perhaps if he can own one of his own, he will see they won't jump off the table and kill everyone and that he is much safer having one for his protection (even if it is locked up) than without
 
jkdyoyo said:
Especially since there's kids and wife in the house.
Click to expand...

I think some folks intentionally insulate themselves from thinking about worst case scenarios.

He might be thinking about it a bit differently if one of his neighbors had been murdered or attacked by one of these scumbags. Look what happened with the Cates murder in NH... after those scumbag kids killed that poor woman and almost killed her daughter, a fair number of people started paying attention, and gun stores all over the state experienced a significant spike in sales and interest in things like training courses, etc..... Let's think about it for a moment- those people were all likely new gun owners too, that never thought about anything like that happening. It took -someone dying- to get them to even fathom the concept that taking a little responsibility for their own safety might be a good idea...... complacency was "comfortable" until something heinous happened that disrupted their worldview.

-Mike
 
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I am so fatigued of hearing about people like your friend that I honestly don't care about "them" any more.

How on Earth can you refuse to take violence into your hands to protect that which should be most dear to you?

I.....just.....can't......understand them.
 
Dispatcher: gather up your family and run to your car and start the engine.

Reality: A thug or worse, a houseful of thugs might not be inclined to be cooperative with your idea.

Bottom line: It's unfortunate your friend is so passive regarding the use of a gun to protect himself and his family. I doubt you can change that. Perhaps you can convince him to get a watchful and badass dog for future safety.
 
A guy I worked with, his inlaws live in Califonia. A little over a year ago their home was invaded and they were both beaten with a bat and left for dead.
They now have a few firearms and shoot very often

Sorry your friend is a sheep, hope the wolves don't return.
 
If an intruder in his own bedroom hasn't convinced him that he needs a gun then there's probably little you can say to change his mind. Let him know you are available to talk if he ever considers buying a firearm to protect his family.
 
We have to keep in mind that this is a gun forum and because we all enjoy the shooting sports and embrace the right to carry for personal protection not everyone will share our views.

I would hate to see that happen to anyone but it is ultimately his choice to remain anti-gun and we should respect his personal beliefs.
 
MA_Shooter said:
If an intruder in his own bedroom hasn't convinced him that he needs a gun then there's probably little you can say to change his mind. Let him know you are available to talk if he ever considers buying a firearm to protect his family.
Click to expand...

This, pushing him isn't going to help anything. It's his choice and it sounds like he's made it.

I would hate to see that happen to anyone but it is ultimately his choice to remain anti-gun and we should respect his personal beliefs.
Click to expand...
This too.
 
Jose said:
I am so fatigued of hearing about people like your friend that I honestly don't care about "them" any more.
How on Earth can you refuse to take violence into your hands to protect that which should be most dear to you?
I.....just.....can't......understand them.
Click to expand...

This

I'm not a violent person. I'm certainly not a tough guy in any sense of the word. But the idea of letting yourself or your family be at the mercy of a violent criminal merely out of fear of an inanimate object simply baffles me.

There is a word for this phenomena: Cowardice.
To let your family be victimized because you can't grow a set and face your fears is frankly contemptible. -Choose a better class of "friends."
 
richc said:
I'm at a software conference and ran into an old friend. He's a good guy, albeit a bit nutty. He's a big motorcycle enthusiast, and actually is a competitor.

He starts telling me a story. About two months ago his wife wakes up and hears a noise. At first she figures it is one of the kids just getting home. Then she sees a shadow in the bedroom.

She wakes my buddy. At first he is kinda drowsy, then he realizes what is going down. He's a good sized guy, and jumps out of bed taking off after said intruder.

The guy is younger and has a head start. The guy breaks a bottle at the bottom of the outside stairs, and my buddy steps in the broken glass.

They call 911. The cops say get out of the house and in your car now. Lock the doors and start your engine, just in case there are others. LE arrive and send a dog through the house looking for others.

Turns out there have been quite a few of these burglaries in the vicinity. The burglars are known to be violent. My buddy and his family are lucky.

This guy knows I shoot. I ask him about a firearm for home protection. He says he's afraid of firearms.

I push him... so you're more afraid of a firearm than you are of a home intruder? He won't give. He lives in the midwest and firearms ownership is not an issue in his state. But he avoids the subject.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. He's just dead set against the idea. I suppose it is possible he is a legally unable to own a firearm, as he has had a rather wild ride in life. Or his wife is an anti. But I think he'd tell me that.

So how the hell does one, under these circumstances, prove that a firearm is the proper choice for protection the life and safety of your family?

I dunno... I'm just confused.

Thanks,

Rich
Click to expand...

You can't my friend. Self-reliance is a choice. If he buys one but isn't 100% prepared to use it he's setting himself up for a world of hurt. Better he make his contingency plans W/O a gun if he's not prepared to pull the trigger.
 
If he lived in MA he couldn't have stopped the perp anyway. His gun would be locked and by the time he got it, if he got to it, he'd either be beaten severely or the perp would be long gone. [thinking]
 
Wolves and sheep analogy may apply. Since he is gun-shy but apparently is in a high risk environment you might suggest a big can of hornet/wasp spray as a minimum alternative.
 
drgrant said:
It's possible he's had some traumatic life experience associated with firearms and it's messing with his head... and they can't separate the fact that the gun wasn't responsible for whatever "it" was...... Maybe he is close to someone who committed suicide with a firearm, or some other event like that.
Click to expand...

I never understood that mindset. I had a traumatic experience as a child involving a road and my face. I don't have a problem driving.
 
yanici said:
If he lived in MA he couldn't have stopped the perp anyway. His gun would be locked and by the time he got it, if he got to it, he'd either be beaten severely or the perp would be long gone. [thinking]
Click to expand...

Having a loaded gun 2 feet away from you in a bedside stand as you sleep is not something you're likely to be charged with unsafe storage over. It is, essentially, "under your control." To my knowledge, this has never been charged successfully. Besides, which is better? Being charged with safe storage violation or being dead?
 
This is where we are more "High Ground" than the Anti's. We KNOW he should have a firearm to defend his family, but we won't make him get one even though it's against our beliefs. Whereas an Anti will want you to (and indeed try to make you) get rid of your firearms because it runs afoul to their beliefs. And when something happens to his family like happened to Dr. Pettit's in Cheshire, maybe he will survive and have the rest of his life to contemplate what it would have been like to have his family.
 
Interesting feedback... thanks all.

For the record he is a tough guy. Big motorcycle enthusiast. Not afraid to use his fists.

That is what puzzles me. Maybe Mike is right... he is a prohibited person or has a bad experience in his background.
 

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