Heavy Feline Content: So that the funny thread doesn't get locked

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by s4mt3k, Aug 22, 2013.

  1. xtry51

    xtry51 NES Member

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    Locking yourself in a stall with cats and water is a recipe for disaster. Lol.
     

  2. eboos

    eboos NES Member

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    Could result in these types of injuries: Not Guilty!

    Just not is such a fun way.
     
  3. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    I had to do something similar to my wife and a cat this past summer. We had boarded the 2 cats for vacation, and on return we were picking up the cats. For some reason, the black cat decided to go bat shit crazy while in his cage on the 25 minute ride home. (I mean really now, cat, you're going HOME, not back to the boarder or the vet. Chill out!) By crazy, I mean he pissed and crapped out everything he possibly could while in his cage. There must have been a full glass worth of piss, and a double helping of crap. He completely saturated every square inch of his enormous fat body with both substances. The smell. The smell!!! Ugh!!

    We got the stupid thing home, and we're like great now what do we do. Obviously, we can't let the thing loose in the house. And, he's an indoor cat so leaving him outside was not an option. We needed to wash him outside, but without him escaping. So, I removed everything from the bed of my pickup truck, which has a cap, then got the garden hose, a bucket, and a bunch of soap and then put the cat and my wife in the back of the truck closed the tail gate and the cap's door. The cap has screened windows so I at least opened one of them to let some air in. Then, my wife spent about 2 hours in there trapped with the cat cleaning up the thing. He actually didn't freak out... I don't think he knew what to think of the water, something he never experienced. He was growling and hissing a lot though. After that, he was soaking wet so we let him out in the garage to run around there until he dried. And my wife had to go shower.

    So now I'm pondering what to do for the next vacation or vet trip. I am thinking of getting those puppy training pads and covering the cage floor with that, in case he decides to evacuate everything in him again.... its better than a hard plastic bottom where the fluids just slosh back and forth due to the car motion.
     
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  4. Lignum Vitea

    Lignum Vitea Member

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    Wow what a horror cat story, I would be pondering about that boarding place. What the hell happened there to trigger "bat shit crazy"?
     
  5. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    I'm not sure. They seem OK but the place smells awful. They also groom dogs so there is the stench of wet dog everywhere. I would puke if I had to stay in their business for any length of time. Unfortunately they are the only cat boarder in Cheshire County, not sure where else to go. Nashua has some expensive boarders but they are at least an hour from here.
     
  6. Cowgirlup

    Cowgirlup NES Member

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    Can't you just get someone to come and feed them play with them and scoop the box while you're gone?
     
  7. 42!

    42! NES Member

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    I only have one cat, but when I go away for a week I set up a bulk food dish and a bulk water dish that circulates through a charcoal filter. I also have a camera watching the food and water. I do have someone check mid week but they haven't really had to do anything. Oh, I also setup a couple litter boxes.
    She's a little clingy when I get back, from being alone so much of the time. Probably would be better with two cats.
     
  8. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    That is what I used to do when I had a neighbor I liked, and those neighbors moved so I hired someone to come over for a few years. But the same cat that covered himself in poop recently, also has major trouble being left alone for more than about 24 hours even if someone comes over twice a day. He just sort of gets really stressed out and gets to the point where he goes nuts and gets sick. The last time I hired the cat lady to come over during a vacation, on the last day, after the cat lady was there but before we had returned, his craziness just exploded. Literally. Diarrhea all over the house in at least a dozen places on all 3 floors. This included right in the middle of the bed, a big pile of pure liquid diarrhea. I had to throw away everything from the comforter right down to the mattress pad. And tear up the carpeted floor in the basement and replace with vinyl since he thoroughly destroyed that carpet. (Then a pipe burst a month later and destroyed the new floor, so I had to have it done AGAIN... but that's not his fault.)

    So... no more being left alone for extended periods of time. I drop them off at boarder, so if his little intestines decide to explode from stress, it's their problem.
     
  9. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    I used to have one of those pet fountains. Problem is, one of the cats would splash in the fountain until it was empty... took about 1 day.

    Also, the eating requirements of the 2 cats are different so leaving a giant pile of food there, or even food released on a timer, doesn't work. The girl cat eats just enough then no more... she can control herself just fine. The poop-covered cat eats until he explodes. And, he'll eat all his sister's food up too. And he'll puke it up. Then eat his puke. And, he's on a urinary tract food so he must only be eating that and not his sister's. So none of this works if we're away, unless we locked them in separate rooms or something like that.
     
  10. 42!

    42! NES Member

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    I no longer think my cat is crazy.

    Your cat has issues.
     
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  11. jtnf

    jtnf NES Member

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    You missed an opportunity for E-Z Cat Wash (tm)
    Pour a few ounces of cat shampoo into a toilet, toss in the cat and slam the lid. Stand on the lid to contain the cat... The cat will lather itself up just fine.
    Flush a few times to change out the rinse water, the cat will rinse itself just fine.
    Stand back as far as possible and flip the lid open. Careful, since kitties are sharp on all five corners.
     
  12. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    Yup, he does. But, he's cute though. I especially like how he taps me on my face while I'm sleeping to see if I'm still alive. (I assume he'll then proceed to eat me if it turns out I am not alive.)
     
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  13. el duderino

    el duderino NES Member

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  14. pdm

    pdm NES Member

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    That's not issues, that's a subscription.

    And yes, puppy pads will help with carrier-ride evacuations. Front and back. But also: drugs.
     
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  15. minininjer

    minininjer NES Door Greeter NES Member

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  16. drgrant

    drgrant Moderator

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    Wow... that cat is "special". [laugh]

    I am glad my current cat is docile and pretty much "standard". On the rare occasion im away, my friend will stop by after work, refill her food/water/clean box, and hang out with her once or twice a week while he makes himself a drink and/or smokes a cigar, lol. Makes it easier because she ain't afraid of anyone.

    -Mike
     
  17. drgrant

    drgrant Moderator

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    On average? Probably... but the way cats deal with water ranges from indifference, to minor annoyance and complaining to sheer terror and rage, LMAO.

    -Mike
     
  18. Lignum Vitea

    Lignum Vitea Member

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    [​IMG]
    Werewolf cat named new breed at American Kennel Club

    [​IMG]
     
  19. bfm

    bfm NES Member

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  20. namedpipes

    namedpipes NES Member

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    @minininjer

    Finally a cat you can hold on your lap (and not the other way round)
     
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  21. CatSnoutSoup

    CatSnoutSoup NES Member

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    And then there are those that are fascinated by it.

    For example, here is our Puppy waiting for the flush, at which point he will jump up on the seat and try and chase the water down the drain.

    I swear sometimes he raises his paw and motions toward the lever to flush it himself (just can't reason it out)

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2018 at 2:20 PM
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  22. Boris

    Boris Son of Kalashnikov NES Member

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    Once you get an astronomical water bill, that's when you know he figured it out and was flushing the toylet non-stop while you were at work ... well, not non-stop, you still got to get 20h of sleep somehow.
     
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  23. tuna

    tuna NES Member

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    Prepper, did you name either of these cats “Robin”? Seriously, what is it with you and animals flinging poo?
     
  24. Bonesinium

    Bonesinium Member

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  25. Lignum Vitea

    Lignum Vitea Member

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  26. Aaron[MA]

    Aaron[MA] NES Member

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    Wait, you broke your ankle how?!
     
  27. Aaron[MA]

    Aaron[MA] NES Member

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    The cats name is Puppy? That's awesome. I have a similar looking one named Bunny.
     
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  28. Prepper

    Prepper NES Member

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    I don't know. I have always really liked animals, but they are not reciprocating. In addition to all the other horror from the poop cat, he also will sometimes not get a poop all the way out. Instead of doing what a normal animal would do and strain a bit more to complete it, he panics and starts running through the house at high speed with the poop dangling out the back end, chasing him. What a mess that is to clean up. I'd call the cat retarded, but he's smart enough to figure out how to open doors. Maybe he's an idiot savant or something (oh wait, they just call them savants these days, right?)
     
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  29. xtry51

    xtry51 NES Member

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    Lol. The more people coddle pets, treat them like humans are the servants and allow them to procreate, the more retarded the outliers will get.

    If I had an animal that couldn't figure out how to go to the bathroom, I'd save it the trouble and put it down.
     
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  30. smokey-seven

    smokey-seven NES Member

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    I know a gal that named her cat, "Classified" and whenever people would ask her what the cat's name was she would reply, "It's Classified."
     

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