Our Son Passed Away On Friday

This is a hard one!!!
Friday night, March 25, our son James IV passed away here at home. I won't go into the details of this, but if you go to the Moore County, N.C. Sheriff's Facebook page, the details are there. No parent should ever have to be placed in this situation!!! James suffered from substance abuse, both alcohol and other items. He was a great kid, played hockey for the Springfield Jr. Falcons as a young man and later went into MMA and boxing. He has a beautiful wife Madison and 2 young children, James and Carolyn ages 2 and 6 months. James graduated from Cleveland Community College Lineman's academy in Shelby, N.C. and worked as a lineman for a couple years until the disease took over his life. James completed a 45 day inpatient therapy and counseling program at Samaritan Colony in Rockingham, N.C. being released on Dec. 17th. He went to his AA meetings and we tried to keep as close of an eye on him as possible as James and his family lived with us. Unfortunately, he relapsed hard, very hard which culminated in the incident on March 25th.
I ask everyone to please do everything in their power and then some to get anyone they may know the help and continued follow up health that tragically ends so many lives due to these horrible addictions.
I also ask that everyone please keep this young man and his family in their thoughts and prayers. I have posted 2 links, one is for a GoFundMe to help offset his funeral expenses and the other is to Moore County Sheriff's Facebook page. I also would like to thank the Moore County EMT's, Moore County Sheriff's Office and Cypress Pointe Fire Department for their lifesaving attempts and just being a good bunch of folks in these most difficult times.
May the Good Lord watch over my son's soul.

Fundraiser for James Edward McCormick IV Funeral, organized by Jim McCormick

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I’m truly sorry for your family’s loss. My wife and I will say a prayer for you tonight.
 
Ooooh no.

I struggle with what to say to you or whether to post at all. In my job, I've seen this outcome maybe a hundred times. The last death I attended left behind 6 week old twins. He had a job, a wife....A life. But It got him.

I've successfully resuscitated... a thousand? And the medics... Many more than that.
And it's hard when you're resuscitating the same person for the 3rd time in one shift.

It's hard not to be cynical and judgemental, but what I've learned, mostly from the families, and what I try hard never to forget, is that NO ONE sets out to become an addict. Every last one was an innocent kid once. And they're all a son, daughter, brother, sister, mother, father, best friend.

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I cried a little for you and him while putting my daughter to bed tonight. And her older half sister takes 95 mg of methadone daily. So, I know too, what you've lived with, probably for years.

You don't say how he passed, nor should we expect you to. But if he died of an overdose, I can tell you, I believe with all my heart, he did not suffer. He went to sleep and did not wake up. He is with God now and the demons that tortured him in life cannot reach him in Heaven.

I'm sure as shit you didn't ask for it, but it's on you now Grandfather. I pray for strength for you and some sort of solace and healing for your family.

Godspeed and Peace for James.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have some idea of what you're going through. I have a step daughter that I've raised since she was six, but my only child died suddenly on October 18th of last year, she was 28. Circumstances of her passing were different than your situation but in the end, we've both lost a child. People I know that have lost children, most younger than mine, seem to have a similar outlook. They've all told me basically it never goes away, but it gets easier.
I think I can speak to addiction as well. I've been active in AA since 1988. Addiction is a disease just like cancer. It's not their fault, nobody plans to be an alcoholic or addict and sadly many never make it out.
My wife and I attended a Grief Therapy Group not long after her death. It was 13 sessions and we'll be attending it again in the Fall. I myself obviously know the benefit of shared similar experiences from AA, my wife, not so much. She's not really into the group thing. Until recently the only group thing we've done together was Twigg's Canning Class years ago. Thankfully she found the Grief Therapy Group very helpful. It helped us both considerably. It's helped us not to move on, like we're abandoning something, but to move forward.
I would really encourage you to actively seek some kind of group and or counseling. As I'm typing this I'm sitting on my daughter's bed with her dog by my side.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of your loved ones who are affected by this senseless tragedy.
Feel free to PM me, or not. If I've learned one thing from this surreal nightmare is there is no wrong way to grieve.
 
I'm so sorry my post made you sad. I regret it.... Most definitely not my intention to add to your pain
My sincere apologies.
No, it did not make me sad!! You are not adding to the pain. I appreciate you posting this and caring. Everyone is just so kind to us during these dark hours and days. No apologies!! You are so helpful and supportive, I need this!!
 
Talk to professionals, too. Pastor, shrink, whoever... just don't bear that burden alone.

This is invaluable advice. As men we always feel like we need to shoulder the burden and be the strong ones and it's true to an extent but having someone outside of your personal circle to open up to is an enormous help. We do a lot of damage to ourselves by carrying the weight of our emotions alone
 
I brought my dogs out for a walk in our north side field. As I'm walking along the wood line coming back to the house, I stopped to pick up little bits of garbage, paper and stuff that blows around. I picked up a plastic bottle cap and next to it was this wooden cross!!!! I'm a mess, crying, anguished and I pick this up and completely lost it!! Its as if its a message from my son. I've been hoping for something, anything that he is okay with God. I have to believe. Call me weird, superstitious, whatever, its just soooo odd, especially since I ran the tractor over this area cutting the area about 10 days ago!!
Cross.jpg
 
I brought my dogs out for a walk in our north side field. As I'm walking along the wood line coming back to the house, I stopped to pick up little bits of garbage, paper and stuff that blows around. I picked up a plastic bottle cap and next to it was this wooden cross!!!! I'm a mess, crying, anguished and I pick this up and completely lost it!! Its as if its a message from my son. I've been hoping for something, anything that he is okay with God. I have to believe. Call me weird, superstitious, whatever, its just soooo odd, especially since I ran the tractor over this area cutting the area about 10 days ago!!
View attachment 597222
Take it as a sign man! Your son is at peace with God and this is their way of showing you. Pray for him, pray for your family, pray for guidance, and thank him for these little clues. Sometimes God's will is a miserable path to walk on but there are always signs for us along the way and it's important that we recognize them. I hope it gives you a little bit of peace this morning!
 
I brought my dogs out for a walk in our north side field. As I'm walking along the wood line coming back to the house, I stopped to pick up little bits of garbage, paper and stuff that blows around. I picked up a plastic bottle cap and next to it was this wooden cross!!!! I'm a mess, crying, anguished and I pick this up and completely lost it!! Its as if its a message from my son. I've been hoping for something, anything that he is okay with God. I have to believe. Call me weird, superstitious, whatever, its just soooo odd, especially since I ran the tractor over this area cutting the area about 10 days ago!!
View attachment 597222
i have experienced a few strange occurrences in my life that force me to consider that "guardian angels" just might be a thing. the word coincidence is too simple or shallow to describe the events. i do believe your son's soul is at peace now. godspeed.
 
First let me wish you peace with God and may your son be with Him in eternal paradise.

upon reading the PD report, I can only imagine the feelings you must be having.. and please, PLEASE, seek some mental therapy. This is way more than one man, however strong he may be, can handle alone. There is no shame in a man getting the help he needs to get through the toughest periods of life.
 
First let me wish you peace with God and may your son be with Him in eternal paradise.

upon reading the PD report, I can only imagine the feelings you must be having.. and please, PLEASE, seek some mental therapy. This is way more than one man, however strong he may be, can handle alone. There is no shame in a man getting the help he needs to get through the toughest periods of life.
Thank you so very much for your kind words.
I am seeking help. I have already spoken with my priest, Catholic, and am meeting with an Army chaplain from Bragg. I will not hold this in and walk this horrible path alone. You are absolutely right, this is a burden no man should bare, but I unfortunately am. The NES community has been and will continue to be a shoulder on which I lean along with family and friends. There's just a dang good bunch of folks here!!!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
 
When you first posted, I didn't want to bring up the circumstances. Since others have, just wanted to say I'm glad you are seeking out the help you need. It's a situation no parent ever could imagine, but it happened. Rest assured we wish only for all your families peace and healing in this most difficult time.
 
Absolutely heart wrenching. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Thoughts and prayers sent to you and your family.
 
This is a hard one!!!
Friday night, March 25, our son James IV passed away here at home. I won't go into the details of this, but if you go to the Moore County, N.C. Sheriff's Facebook page, the details are there. No parent should ever have to be placed in this situation!!! James suffered from substance abuse, both alcohol and other items. He was a great kid, played hockey for the Springfield Jr. Falcons as a young man and later went into MMA and boxing. He has a beautiful wife Madison and 2 young children, James and Carolyn ages 2 and 6 months. James graduated from Cleveland Community College Lineman's academy in Shelby, N.C. and worked as a lineman for a couple years until the disease took over his life. James completed a 45 day inpatient therapy and counseling program at Samaritan Colony in Rockingham, N.C. being released on Dec. 17th. He went to his AA meetings and we tried to keep as close of an eye on him as possible as James and his family lived with us. Unfortunately, he relapsed hard, very hard which culminated in the incident on March 25th.
I ask everyone to please do everything in their power and then some to get anyone they may know the help and continued follow up health that tragically ends so many lives due to these horrible addictions.
I also ask that everyone please keep this young man and his family in their thoughts and prayers. I have posted 2 links, one is for a GoFundMe to help offset his funeral expenses and the other is to Moore County Sheriff's Facebook page. I also would like to thank the Moore County EMT's, Moore County Sheriff's Office and Cypress Pointe Fire Department for their lifesaving attempts and just being a good bunch of folks in these most difficult times.
May the Good Lord watch over my son's soul.

Fundraiser for James Edward McCormick IV Funeral, organized by Jim McCormick

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There are no words that I can muster, but I am so very sorry for your loss. God bless him and your family, I will pray for all of you.
 
James was finally returned to the funeral home from the Medical examiners office on Thursday afternoon. So, I went and saw my son yesterday, privately, just myself. I just had to see him. He looks really good, but when I walked into the room he was in, the reality hit me hard. I honestly feel that he has forgiven me and that our lord has given me forgiveness for what I had to do.
James is having calling hours tomorrow, Sunday from 2-4 at Frye and Prickett funeral Home with a funeral mass on Monday at 11 am at Sacred Heart Church in Pinehurst.
I want to thank everyone here on NES for all the kind words, the support, generosity and just all around heartfelt things you folks have done for us. There is so much goodness from all you folks!!!
Jim McC. and Family

 
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