To be quite honest, i'm more comfy with compact hand guns over a full size due to my hand size and the feeling i get when i shoot.
Compact Glocks and M&Ps have the exact same grip circumference as the full-size models. So if you have smaller hands, the compact models will fit you no better than the full-size models. I have no idea why one of those compact models would feel better in your hands than a full-size, since both have an identical reach distance to the trigger.
I like SOME of the full size ones, but i dont know why.... i'm sort of drooling over for that m&p .40 compact over the full size also over the 9mm's. My personall preference is .40 rather than a .45 or 9mm i dont know why yet lol.
I know a bit about shooting handguns. I'm an NRA certified firearms instructor. I've had about 200 hours of training at LFI, Sigarms Academy, S&W Academy, Cumberland Tactics, etc. I'm no master class shooter, but I've been around a block or two.
I've got a fair number of handguns, including (off the top of my head):
9mm:
Kahr K9, Kahr MK9, Kahr PM9, Glock 17, Glock 34, CZ-75, Sig P226, Sig P239. I've also fired a friends Glock 26.
.40:
Kahr K40, Glock 23, Sig P239 (since sold), USP Compact .40
.45:
4 full-size 1911s, Kimber Compact (steel frame), Kimber Compact (aluminum frame), USP Compact .45
In general, I've found that the 9mm and .45 handguns are fun to shoot. None of them have objectionable recoil, IMHO. In contrast, I've found the Kahr K40 to be distinctly unpleasant to shoot. The Glock 23 isn't far behind. The USP Compact is similarly uncomfortable. The aluminum-framed Kimber Compact is far more pleasant to shoot than any of my .40 handguns.
Your email stated that you were looking for a first handgun and also a carry gun. As I stated previously, the requirements for the two are somewhat antithetical. For comfortable range use and learning how to accurately and quickly shoot a handgun, bigger is better. A larger, heavier handgun will have less felt recoil. A longer sight radius is much easier to use. Combine the two and you will learn handgun marksmanship more quickly.
Shorter, lighter handguns recoil more. The shorter sight radius is harder to aim accurately. .40S&W has significantly sharper recoil than either 9mm or .45 ACP, in my opinion.
That's why I recommend against a compact gun and against a .40. I suggest that you get a full-size 9mm instead. Once you get comfortable with that, then consider a compact and/or .40.
In addition, 9mm ammo is cheaper than .40.
It's your money. Do what you want. But I strongly suggest that you drive out to Springfield and rent them at the S&W range. Try before you buy. You just might find that a compact .40 is not a lot of fun.