Seeking opinions - keeping your hobby "secret" from other parents

[Karl]

My son has been going to the range with me for the last year.... He's 7 now and we started going just before his last birthday. He shoots a Keystone Crickett and loves it. The standing rule at my house has been transparency. When I was a kid growing up in NYC my dad was a cop and guns were just something of dad's I didn't touch. It was always the standing rule that I was a certain age, I could handle anything in my dad's collection as long as he was with me. I have passed this rule down to my son. To be honest, it's a non-issue. He doesn't as very often and doesn't show much interest unless I happen to be in the gun cabinet. As for friends, we've had a talk about what stays family business. The good thing is, at 7 he doesn't know a Luger from a OP Colt, they're just guns. So anything that would be said wouldn't be specific and it's not as taboo a subject as you might think. Most folks around here own hunting guns. As for something leaking out to a friend's parent and someone getting offended..... I don't care. This is my family, I'm not a criminal, I'm a responsible gun owner. I don't want anything advertised but if some sheeple get's offended by something I do it's there problem.

Personally, the Obama bumper sticker on the back of their Prius offends me, but I'm not gonna complain about it.

 

[tictac]

Hey guys! Thanks a lot for your replies. Very helpful advice.

Like Rob posted, I would have no issue showing a concerned parent where my guns are stored. I am glad to see he took that approach and worked. I am sure I will be in a situation at one point where a parent will express his/her concern to me, and that was my plan.

As for my kid, I think what I need to do know.

 

[Gonzo]

I just don't get it. In my house, we live the way we live. Anyone who doesn't like it can FOAD.

 

[Tara]

My daughter knows I have them, but I don't think it's important enough to her to tell her 4 year old friends. When she's old enough to understand, I'd prefer she not advertise that I own them. It's my business who knows that I own them, and there are too many sheep around who would assume that guns=bad. Only one parent at her school knows, to my knowledge, and that's only because he's a fellow NESer. I don't feel the need to broadcast what I do or don't have, but if someone were to ask me if I own guns, I have no problem telling them I'm a licensed gun owner. If they have questions, I'd be happy to answer them.

 

[Jose]

Like Rob posted, I would have no issue showing a concerned parent where my guns are stored.

I would. I would no more show them where they are than show them where I keep valuable jewelry, important documents, or anything else of significant value.

They can either take my word for it that everything is as it should be or they can just go away.

 

[Jethro]

http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/

Both of my kids went through Eddie the Eagle. They are both adults now. As mentioned above, firearms are no different from any other tool or furniture in your house.

If you make it a taboo, then naturally kids will want to shere the secret.

 

[Emoto]

We've never hidden the fact that we have guns from our kids. They've always known that they were there and were always taught gun safety. Also,
whenever they've asked if they could see one or hold one we immediately got one and let them. After awhile they stopped asking because it was no big deal. But, they have always been under strict orders to never, ever mention it at school. Schools have a zero tolerance policy. All you need is for some idiot to overhear and say that they heard your child talking about guns and suddenly it gets turned into something sinister.

This would be the concern in the People's Republic. If a child should unwittingly mention guns and appears to be afraid in the eyes of the school official, then child services is called, and now the State wants to take your child away. So, I can understand keeping mum about guns in this sh*thole of a state.

 

[CMEBoston]

There are gun owners who represent the shooting community positively and those who don't. If those of us who are decent people (employed, non-criminals, don't beat the spouse, etc.) feel the need to "hide" all it does is increase the percentage of asshat gun owners in the public's perception.

I had one parent express concern when my kid was younger. No big deal - I offered a tour of the ordnance room to show him the guns were properly secured (this was pre 1998 before this was required), and the concern evaporated. If it did not, I would have learned I was dealing with an irrational individual - and I don't feel the need to guide my life based on what irrational people might think.

Yes, shooting is cool for kids - but I wouldn't take a kid under 18 shooting without talking to his/her parents first unless it was part of an organized outing where it was obvious that the parents knew shooting was involved. It's just a matter of respecting the rights of other parents. Once the kid is 18, they get treated as an adult.

My younger brother in law (17) has his best freind over all the time. When he ( freind) asked me if he could go to the range I told him it was up to his parents, and if they would like to meet me to let me know. I have no problem taking my brother and his freind shooting, and the more they know the safer we all are. when they asked if they could see a firearm I showed them. If his parents would dis-allow him to visit us because I have guns they can pound sand, I will not change my ways because I KNOW they wont change theirs....
My son is 3, He knows what guns are, and is scared to death of the bang ever since the last parade I took him too, I have got to get him over that!

 

[KMS]

My kids are at an age now that they don't care about what mom and dad do or have...they are in thier own lives now.Firearms are like forks in my house hold...I can leave a pistol out on the kitchen table for a few hours and no one will even take a second look at, if that.

 

[jasons]

My kids have always known so to them it's no big deal. They both shoot and understand basic gun safety. (Better than a lot of adults I see at the range lately.) The thought of one of them finding a gun and NOT knowing what it was or to leave it alone scares me a lot more than what the moonbat parents of their schoolmates might think.

 

[FrugalFannie]

The first time my son was "exposed" to guns he was in Kindergarten. He told his teacher at the first available opportunity that he had "shot guns" that weekend. (he didn't but whatever). Next time I saw the teacher she says to me "Asher said he was shooting guns with an uncle." I looked her square in the eye and said "no, his father and uncle were shooting. he just got to touch and handle the unloaded ones."

Since then we have decided to let him know that what we have for guns or how much we shoot, etc is no one elses business. For many reasons - people are scared of them (we almost lost a set of friends when we "came out"), bad guys might want to steal them etc. He talks about it sometimes with friends but it's no longer a big deal. I much prefer to know that my son knows what to do and not do should he come across a gun (at our house or any other) or if his friends "come across" one.

 

[ScottC]

I don't broadcast that I own and carry a gun, but I don't go out of my way to hide it either. Whenever I get asked why I carry, the normal answer is, "same reason you keep a spare tire in your car," or my personal favorite, "because cops are too heavy." Don't embrace the taboo. If someone asks, tell them simply and without embarassment. I plan to teach my kids at a young age how to handle my guns safely, and to respect them. My father introduced them to me early to elminate the curiosity, and I really think that it worked. Kids tend to want what they can't have. If you make it common-place, chances are they won't feel the need to check it out on their own. As far as the other parents are concerned, I don't need their approval. Anyone who doesn't like what I do in my house can stay in theirs.

 

[CMEBoston]

I will add, I am not afraid of the kids "playing" with them, all of my rifles and shotguns are under lock and key and equipped with trigger locks, and the ammo is locked in a seperate container. I am more concerned with theft and damage from them being handled without my supervision.
My handgun is by my side 24/7 weather on me or locked up with me, never at home when I am not though.

 

[greggio]

We first got our guns when our youngest was five. We believed from the beginning that if they are in the house she should know what they are and what to do when she see's one.

When I first started going through gun safety with her I wanted to stress the point of never touching a gun without an adult present. I wanted her to have the ingrained notion that if she see's a gun she should get an adult immediately. The conversation went like this:

me - "What should you do if you see a gun?"
daughter - "ummm...Duck!"

 

[Twigg]

you don't want the kids running to school and mentioning your "arsenal" to some Obama-bot socialist "teacher" who then calls child services and the police to report your arsenal of full auto revolvers and AK-47's .

FIFY. Believe me these A-holes are everywhere, even in NH.

I had an encounter with one of these idiots over something non-gun related when we first moved here. Long story short, she is no longer a teacher.

 

[BigDaddyAl]

I grew up with a house full of guns. I knew where the storage closet key was, and I played with them when my parents weren't home (this was way before trigger locks and ammo stored separately). I did some stupid things with them, but luckily no one got shot. This experience really informed my decisions of how to talk to my kids about guns. My kids are 9, 7, and 2, and up until my wife and I got my licenses a few months ago, they didn't know we had guns (we lived in other states previously and stored our guns out of state when we moved to MA). A month or so I sat down with the oldest two (both girls) and explained that we now had guns in the house, and that it was important for them to know about gun safety. Besides the 4 main safety rules (finger off the trigger, point in safe direction, etc.), I added (1) don't talk to your friends about guns, (2) don't go snooping, (3) and never touch a gun if you find it, tell an adult. #1 was mainly because we live in MA. #2 was because of my experience as a kid. #3 just seems like common sense.

Because we're in MA, we've been pretty selective about who we tell about our new hobby. Sometimes I'll mention going to the range to someone to feel out how the other person will respond. I haven't had a negative response yet.

The other day, one of my daughters was going to have a playdate at our house, and the mom of daughter's friend called and said, "I have a few questions/rules I always ask before letting my kid go to a playdate." One of them was, "Are there any guns in the house?" My wife handled it great, and said, "Yes. They are all stored in a safe, with trigger locks. The kids have no access to them." (Yes, I do belt and suspenders for storage). The other mom didn't say anything else about it, and they kids had a great time.

 

[Titan]

...Oh, as for the "ask them about the cleaning chemicals...." with an Anti, that won't fly - that stuff is different, as it's not Icky Guns (tm).

You could always bring up the guy in Plymouth, who offed himself this week with a power saw, as police approached.

 

[MrsWildweasel]

We raised our son around firearm, and basically took the mystery of them away. He learned gun safety at an early age. He was out hunting from an early age with his Dad and Grandfather. While we don't advertise we have guns, anyone knowing us knows my husband and son hunt. When he was younger I had parents ask us if we had guns, and I told them that yes we do and we keep them locked up. If it affected my son any don't know. Have I had parent not want their kid at my house, yup. Didn't bother me any, nor did it bother my son. I don't volunteer the info.

 

[travis]

First off the bs of what anybody outside your family thinks aside. If you own firearms then your children should both know what they are and how to handle them safely. If there is a chance a child will come into contact with one then they should know what they are before they try to explore on there own. My grandson is almost three Bday July 3rd. He already knows what a firearm is what it does and can recite the four rules. I have no delusions he completely understands the whole of it but he knows not to touch there dangerous. My daughter was the same way I gave her her first handgun a Browning Buckmark at 11 that's the one she picked out. She was proud of it and told her friends. Yes even up here I had a few calls over the years your daughter told my kid she has a gun my reply was always yes she does. If you spend all your time worrying what other think you will never have time to live your own life.

 

[GaryO]

TicTac, do any of the parents you are concerned about, own a car? Autombiles cause more deaths than firearms.
A little common sense goes a long way.

 

[TonyDedo]

I agree with everyone who says you can't keep this stuff from your kids. Not 'shouldn't' but 'can't.' Kids are curious, and unless you keep the gun in a safety deposit box at the bank and never touch the thing, eventually they're going to find out about it. Best to treat them like adults, explain the situation, educate them (most important), and let them make their own decisions.

 

[Standby]

I'm sorry, but I don't have that much time in my life to make everyone happy.

I mean while your at it, ( keeping your hobby a secret ) you might as well keep which stores you shop at a secret too. Then, what schools your kids are looking at, and what flavor ice cream they like. There'll always be something else to "hide" so you can "fit in" with these "friends".

Friends like that you don't need.

Be happy, be safe, be smart, be your own person, teach your kids to be the same.

 

[rudiewhitebwoy]

This concept is just utterly foreign to me. Of course, I come from a culture where it's assumed every house contains at least one firearm, even if they're not a "pro-gun" household.

The only conversation I ever had with my kids about gun ownership, was to tell them that how many or what kinds of guns we owned, or especially where those guns are, was something they should never discuss with classmates.

I wasn't worried about my kids, nor even their friends, but word does tend to get around, and I didn't want some friend of a friend of a friend's casual buddy who overheard something, breaking into my house.

Tonight, the second night of serious weather emergencies and tornadoes all around us, I decided to get out of my casual wear and get dressed as if we might need to bug out of the house in a hurry. Jeans, t-shirt, shoes, and my OWB .45 rig. My 8 year old son asked, "Dad, why did you put those magazines and gun on your belt?" (Yes, my 8yo knows the proper usage of "magazine". )

While I was drawing a breath to answer, my 21 year old daughter replied, "Because when there's a storm and the power is out, sometimes bad people try to take advantage, and he wants to keep us safe."

Without missing a beat, 8yo Son said, "Well, of course it's natural that criminals use the cover of darkness, so I'm glad Dad can protect us."

Literally. That's a direct quote. And the "natural that criminals use the cover of darkness" line just reflects his amazing level of literacy, thanks to home-schooling.

And I'm proud of BabyGirl for knowing exactly why I "got dressed".

Wow, I just got a little teary eyed. You should be proud. My daughters are the same way but they're 17 & 26, not 8 .... Fantastic!

I don't broadcast my hobby, but many of the people I know from shooting, I see at work or around town. It's not much of a secret. I do have concerns of being robbed and began to take additional measures last fall. I'm getting there slow but sure. The good thing is, someone's almost always home and they're all proficent enough I don't really worry to much about it.

 

[vicpinto]

My kids keep their mouths shut. If they ever lost any "friends" over my gun ownership then I call that a life lesson learned. I don't need my kids associating with kids that have idiots for parents.

 

[mass]

If kids can learn about putting condoms on cucumbers in school, they can learn about firearms. My kids are mostly grown now, but they knew from an early age that it was nobody's business.

 

[June4th]

My son was 3 1/2 years old when I became a gun owner. After some Youtube Eddie Eagle time, I showed it to him, disassembled it in front of him and promised him if he ever wanted to see it again, I would drop whatever I was doing at the time to show it to him. After a month of two of saturation, he completely lost the curiosity factor. My kids are still interested in firearms because daddy is. They'd be interested in a newly acquired piece and admire it, but they don't even give the Ruger SP101 or the HK P7 on my hip (interchangeable EDC) a second look any more.

I also drilled it in them that gun ownership is a very very private matter and not to be discussed with anyone outside of the family. They understand the reason and they keep their mouth shut.

Every kid is different, but I trusted my kids maturity when I tell them things with simple logic and facts.

 

[Blitz1]

What happened to Our Beloved Country? [sad2]

 

[Realtor MA]

The idea that a thread like this exists makes me ill.

 

[mark056]

What I do, where I go, what I buy, who my friends are, what my hobbies are is no one else's business...period. There is already waaay to much information circulating about me already out there. It is not a question of being ashamed of what I do, or being politically correct to appease others to maintain a friendship, it's simply because the vast majority of people that I deal with do not have a "need to know" too much about me.

Today, people spill their guts out at a drop of a hat. We use FaceBook, Twitter, blogs, internet forums etc. and with every keystroke we relinquish a lot about ourselves and our lives.

If someone asks me my opinion regarding firearms, gun control and the 2A, I will give them my opinion. I don't usually volunteer too much information about the subject, unless I know that the person is really interested and has similar interests. In the case of someone totally unfamiliar with firearms, I try to use the conversation to incorporate teaching points as I see it. The flip side of the coin, is if I "open up" I may be subjecting myself to the other person "opening up" and be given details about their life or interests that I really don't need to know or have any particular interest in. I once had to endure a chap who was obsessed with '57 Chevy's, for example. I don't want to know about your medical procedures in graphic detail (not an infrequent topic of discussion). I don't care if your sister-in-law went on a Disney cruise with her 6 kids and her husband. If you said to me, "Mark, I just got a new rifle.." then I might be interested, but then again maybe not, depending on what kind it was.

I tend to value my privacy (which erodes on a daily basis). Others feel differently and in response to the OP, I don't think that there really is one correct answer. I think there are too many variables and a lot of it depends on the situation and the context.

If my home is my castle, then what goes on in my castle is MY BUSINESS, not yours, but the same can be said for your castle too, I simply don't have a need to know and neither do you.

Mark L.

 

[travis]

The idea that a thread like this exists makes me ill.

Ditto. I still remember coming home form oversees and going to my pop's hose and looking at his firearms he had a spectacular custom case built into the living room wall. He was a proud man and was happy to show us kids. We where proud to be allowed to touch and on those special times take some out back and shoot them. I remember while growing up talking to other kids about hunting and shooting. My dad used to walk to school and he along with many others at hos school ( it is even in southern NJ ) took there rifles and shotguns to school so they could hunt on the way to and from school. They where even allowed to keep them in there lockers. Though not everybody had lockers so those students put them in the corner of the classroom during school.

These days a picture of a firearm can get a kid suspended or worse. Amazing to me is something that played such a huge part in both the founding but the life of almost every person that settled this country then supported the majority of the country for so long is now thought of as a evil item. It is was not for the firearm we would subjects of the king if we existed at all.