Why Im considering no longer carrying

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A few weeks ago I went out to dinner with some friends for a B-day party dinner. While walking to my Car I saw a couple argueing and then the man assult the Woman. I was carrying!! haveing a small Daughter of my own it hit a nerve big time. I wanted SOOO bad to intervien. However, haveing a Firearm on me made me second guess. What if my Gun is exposed? What if he has a weapon and I have to draw???...(this is Mass, had to think of my family) I knew of a LEO working a detail about a block and a half away so I quickly made it to him and informed him.

If not carrying I would have beat him to a pulp. But all I could think of was, if police arive I will be the bad guy because I am carrying Legally..Nothing against Woman ,but i've worked in a sector of law where I know more times then not if the shit hit the fan the Girl will take the side of her boyfriend. Any self respecting LEO would have sent me on my way if not armed and I interviened, but my Firearm made me walk away. its still eating at me[crying]
 
if it was real bad make a call pd let them take care of it wait till they come if you think real harm will take place watch and see what happens.
 
A few weeks ago I went out to dinner with some friends for a B-day party dinner. While walking to my Car I saw a couple argueing and then the man assult the Woman. I was carrying!! haveing a small Daughter of my own it hit a nerve big time. I wanted SOOO bad to intervien. However, haveing a Firearm on me made me second guess. What if my Gun is exposed? What if he has a weapon and I have to draw???...(this is Mass, had to think of my family) I knew of a LEO working a detail about a block and a half away so I quickly made it to him and informed him.

If not carrying I would have beat him to a pulp. But all I could think of was, if police arive I will be the bad guy because I am carrying Legally..Nothing against Woman ,but i've worked in a sector of law where I know more times then not if the shit hit the fan the Girl will take the side of her boyfriend. Any self respecting LEO would have sent me on my way if not armed and I interviened, but my Firearm made me walk away. its still eating at me[crying]

There you go. CCW saved your ass from A&B charges right there.
 
If the guy had stabbed her and then tried to light her on fire, would you want the gun at home in the safe or on your hip?

http://massbackwards.blogspot.com/2007/03/its-still-puzzling-to-me.html

As customers watched in horror Sunday afternoon, a man stabbed a woman and attempted to set her on fire in the parking lot of a Jackson store, witnesses said.

The attack was stopped by a passer-by, who held the man at gunpoint until police arrived, witnesses said.
 
If you had intervened, as soon as you started going at it with the guy, his girl would have jumped on your back. Stay out of peoples shit and let the cops deal with it. Unless she is on the ground getting a whooping.
 
Sometimes, I really wonder about you guys.

You see a man assault a woman and say/do nothing, and everyone else thinks that's a good idea? WTF is wrong with society today?

Maybe I'm the crazy one.
 
Sometimes, I really wonder about you guys.

You see a man assault a woman and say/do nothing, and everyone else thinks that's a good idea? WTF is wrong with society today?

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

Martlet, I was left with two choices being from MA.. Support my Familay or face years of legal fees.. Sorry if you dont understand that. Let me know when you need contributions to your leagal fees you Vigalantie
 
Sometimes, I really wonder about you guys.

You see a man assault a woman and say/do nothing, and everyone else thinks that's a good idea? WTF is wrong with society today?

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

He got the cops, which was more than nothing. Assault isn't much at all, it's battery that's actual contact.

If I see someone taking a beating I'll get involved. If it's a couple arguing on the side of the road, I'll let them shout, maybe while watching. I've seen more times than I can count that in an abusive situation, both the victim and the abuser need counselling to change how they are. If you step up and humiliate the abuser or beat him within an inch of his life, he'll just internalize his emotions and take it out on her at a later date, because she'll come back, and he won't work it out in a healthy way. What was said above applies too: don't think for a second that the female won't turn on you the moment you get in the face of the man she "loves." I've seen women with disgustingly bad injuries inflicted on them who do this very thing seconds later.

So yeah, I'll call 911 and step in if it gets ugly, but no, I won't rush to a phonebooth to suit up for every recidivist victim I come across.

YMMV.
 
He got the cops, which was more than nothing. Assault isn't much at all, it's battery that's actual contact.

I understand that. Many people don't make the distinction, though. Why would someone post about an assault? Typically, they mean battery.

Just to be clear, was contact made in this case, or did he just witness a couple arguing? If the latter, what makes it post worthy?

If I see someone taking a beating I'll get involved. If it's a couple arguing on the side of the road, I'll let them shout, maybe while watching. I've seen more times than I can count that in an abusive situation, both the victim and the abuser need counselling to change how they are. If you step up and humiliate the abuser or beat him within an inch of his life, he'll just internalize his emotions and take it out on her at a later date, because she'll come back, and he won't work it out in a healthy way. What was said above applies too: don't think for a second that the female won't turn on you the moment you get in the face of the man she "loves." I've seen women with disgustingly bad injuries inflicted on them who do this very thing seconds later.

So yeah, I'll call 911 and step in if it gets ugly, but no, I won't rush to a phonebooth to suit up for every recidivist victim I come across.

YMMV.

No disagreement here.
 
I understand that. Many people don't make the distinction, though. Why would someone post about an assault? Typically, they mean battery.

Just to be clear, was contact made in this case, or did he just witness a couple arguing? If the latter, what makes it post worthy?

Good point.

Claid, care to clarify?
 
Good point.

Claid, care to clarify?

You've read my posts enough to know I'm on the "mind your own business" bus the vast majority of the time, and typically get off only when it involves being a good member of the community and neighbor.
 
You've read my posts enough to know I'm on the "mind your own business" bus the vast majority of the time, and typically get off only when it involves being a good member of the community and neighbor.

True. At what point do you think it's time to step off the bus then WRT the OP's situation?
 
why are you people awake!?!?

I am with Martlet on this one, and am much more of a mind your own business type of person, but having never been in that situation, I dont know how I would react in the moment.
 
It all depends on what is going on. Like this incident if the two are arguing and you see him slap her or about to slap her there is no way I am getting involved. Call the cops, yell at them, but step in between them? Hell no! No one is saying turn your back to someone getting severely injured, but to run right in like the hero is just asking for trouble.

Now if she was running from him yelling HELP ME HELP ME! That's a different story. Or like I mentioned before, her being on the ground, or to expand on that getting severely injured then OK.
 
True. At what point do you think it's time to step off the bus then WRT the OP's situation?

That's not an easy call. There are also different levels of "stepping off". An argument, I keep walking. Yelling, I'd walk slower and take a good look. In each others face and I'd likely hang out for a short time. Grabbing, pushing, etc I'd likely place a call to the police. Forcing in vehicles and full on beatings will likely get me to step in to separate, and also get a call to police.

Again, it's tough to draw definitive lines. Each situation is different.
 
3rd shift.



This is what I keep coming back to. Mutual combat would merit a 911 call, but if someone was clearly a victim I'd step up.


can you get me a job, I want to move to Florida!

Martlet laid out pretty closely what I would do, I think I would have 911 on the phone the second I made visual confirmation of something going on.
 
I would have stepped in in a minute if a woman was being assaulted. I am not a mind your business kind of person when it comes to women being physically abused.. Now, if they were yelling, I probably would have kept moving..
 
I call it "Suitability Syndrome" people living in restrictive states are afraid to step up and help because they are concerned about being victimized by the law for offering assistance to others.

Frankly speaking I don't blame them, its a legitimate concern.
 
Sometimes, I really wonder about you guys.

You see a man assault a woman and say/do nothing, and everyone else thinks that's a good idea? WTF is wrong with society today?

Maybe I'm the crazy one.
I saw a guy in a fight with a woman on the street in SoBo. Pulled over and grabbed him: he was drunk so it wasn't that difficult. Another passerby called 911 and I "suggested" he stick around: in fact when he tried to walk away I slugged him and knocked him down on the ice. The GF stayed a good 10 feet away the whole time. Several other guys had gathered and he decided not to go anywhere. The PD usually responds pretty quickly in SB and they were there in about 3 minutes.

When the squad car and detective arrived I gave the detective my name and number, and told him point blank I had "forcibly detained" the guy: that's the term I used. Submitted a written statement to the court, and showed up in court to testify. All I got was thank yous from the police and ADA: they know who the good guys and bad guys are. Guys who beat women are not represented by F. Lee Bailey. The guy got six months.

Alcohol is usually involved, and those relationships can be really volatile. So you have to be really careful. Often, though, just standing around will help mediate the situation, and other bystanders will gather until you have some numbers at worst, multiple court witnesses at best. That way the woman doesn't have to testify and the guy still gets counselling or jail.

Do what you are comfortable with and what seems right. Just being a reliable witness is as much or more important as going all Rambo. And taking video could be worth her life.
 
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Do what you are comfortable with. Just being a reliable witness is as much or more important as going all Rambo. And taking video could be worth her life.

Who said anything about going Rambo? I couldn't stand there and watch another person get beaten. If someone else could, they're likely not someone I could ever relate to.
 
A few years ago , no - a lot of years ago , After a show in Mansfield/GreatWoods , I saw a guy assaulting a woman , she was visibly upset , crying and trying to flee , he was persistently chasing after her , trying to talk at the same time work her into a place he could grab her - obviously. No one was paying any attention and the crowd had thinned considerably at that point.

I was then all spry and fit and a black belt /instructor. So Superman ( me ) decides to KTFO this guy , who has his back to me ... and I jog a few steps at him , adjust my stride cleanly for a jumping kick that is going to end this before it gets going - and right as I'm about to go aerial I read the word " Security " across his back. ... skid to stop , .... walk away.

Who knows what the hell was really going on ?
..............


Question for LEO's : have any of you guys ever arrived at a fight between two " civilian " men , or right after- with one beaten - and let the guy with the gun go home without arresting everyone ?
 
I don't think the situation would prevent me from carrying, which is what the OP suggests. Had the check from dinner arrived a few minutes later and the guy was really throwing the lady a beating, you may have been able to prevent serious harm from coming to her. I think that in general you did the right thing. You notified the police as quickly as you could ,which was the right thing to do if the young lady was not in grave danger.

If I am in a bank and an armed gunman walks in and shouts "Everybody on the floor!" I am going to hit the floor like everyone else. I wouldn't draw unless he started shooting. Armed response is supposed to be a last resort. I think the OP should carry on.
 
There's no way that scenario would stop me from carrying.

Martlett nailed the ranges of response depending on the level of confrontation.

If I saw someone being beaten, I'd immediately make a call to 911, while 'stepping in'. I'd leave the call open so the operator could hear my dialogue with the attacker.

'Stepping in' would mean verbally challenging the aggressor to stop what they were doing. If that failed, my next warning would be...."Stop, I have a weapon!"

I'd draw if he continued to refuse to stop beating the person.

A single slap doesn't warrant anything more than a phone call to 911 and a report of the incident.


The reason you need to continue to carry, is that if you intervened and 'beat the guy', you might find out that he doesn't enjoy being beaten and might pull a knife or gun of his own.

Then what?


A beating sounds great but may not be very realistic.
 
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I think you made the right decision for you, and for the reasons you stated. If you had gotten into it with that guy, he might have even grabbed your weapon and turned it on you. Never get within striking distance with an adversary when you are armed. - Mike
 
... I've seen more times than I can count that in an abusive situation, both the victim and the abuser need counselling to change how they are. If you step up and humiliate the abuser or beat him within an inch of his life, he'll just internalize his emotions and take it out on her at a later date, because she'll come back, and he won't work it out in a healthy way. What was said above applies too: don't think for a second that the female won't turn on you the moment you get in the face of the man she "loves." I've seen women with disgustingly bad injuries inflicted on them who do this very thing seconds later...

I would have stepped in in a minute if a woman was being assaulted. I am not a mind your business kind of person when it comes to women being physically abused...

Don't be surprised when the scenario GSG descibed starts to unfold and you now find yourself defending against an assault from the woman (and mabey the man as well). Seriously, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy here, Jenlynn...it's just that this happens quite a bit. Obviously if it's a random mugging, assault, rape, ect that's totally different. In a Domestic A&B situation, unless someone is on the ground getting the tar beaten out of them, it is best to call 911 and wait for the police and be a good witness. When you consider all the potential disasters that could befall a good citizen trying to save a person (man or woman) getting physically assaulted by their s/o, it's just not worth it IMHO. Sadly, a lot of people in abusive relationships tend to stay in them till they get the counseling they need, and will turn on a third party intervening in a second...happens to cops all the time.

Do what you are comfortable with and what seems right. Just being a reliable witness is as much or more important as going all Rambo. And taking video could be worth her life.

Yep...

If you had intervened, as soon as you started going at it with the guy, his girl would have jumped on your back. Stay out of peoples shit and let the cops deal with it. Unless she is on the ground getting a whooping.

+2

ETA: The scenario the OP described wouldn't make me even think about wanting to stop carrying, it's just that while a person is carrying they must have the forethought to understand just how fast a situation can get real ugly, and do you really want to get that involved? It's a personal decision for all, no matter what level your response is, you choose your course of action and you live with it.
 
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Sometimes, I really wonder about you guys.

You see a man assault a woman and say/do nothing, and everyone else thinks that's a good idea? WTF is wrong with society today?

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

No you are not crazy.
 
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