Marine jokes!

Skysoldier

Skysoldier

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I am drunk and feisty this afternoon.....so here goes!

How do you know that the Marines are really gay?

Because of their Motto......"They will never leave their buddie's behind!"[rofl][rofl][rofl]
 
A soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''
The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The soldier says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''
 
inerlogic said:
A soldier in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''
The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The soldier says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''
Click to expand...

+1.....I haven't heard that one yet![smile]
 
Well in defense of the Corps, here's one on you Army Dogs. [smile]

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."

A month later the Captain has uncontrollable urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. After he asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

[rofl]
 
3357317054_0778af5a79.jpg
 
A Marine fresh out of BC is taken to the hospital with multiple lacerations and puncture wounds to his face.
Doc says "He been in a fight?"
Mother sobbing says "He was trying to re-learn how to eat with a knife and fork".
 
A marine and a army soldier are both standing at urinals. The marine finishes and rurns to walk out. The army soldier says "in the army they teach us to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom " the marine says "in the marines they teach us not to piss on our hands" and walks out.
 
Lignum Vitea said:
Well in defense of the Corps, here's one on you Army Dogs. [smile]

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."

A month later the Captain has uncontrollable urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. After he asks the soldier: "Is that how the men do it?"

"No sir, they usually ride it to the brothel!"

[rofl]
Click to expand...
Why does the Navy carry a compliment of Marines when it sets out to sea?

Because sheep would be too obvious.
 
Two soldiers show up for morning formation all beat up with black eyes, busted noses etc. Their platoon sgt looks as them and says "What the **** happened to you guys?" The two soldiers sheepishly admit that they went into a dive bar out in town and a Marine kicked their asses for being doggies. The platoon sgt is pissed, so he orders a squad to go the bar the next night to even the score.

The next day the squad comes back, even more ****ed up than the first two guys. The platoon sgt is understandably pissed so this time he orders the whole platoon to go to the bar. The next morning the whole platoon comes limping up to formation all broken and bloody.

Finally the platoon sgt has had enough. He grabs the biggest, toughest guy in the platoon and asks him how his entire platoon could get their asses kicked by a single drunk Marine in a bar. The soldier looks at him and says "You don't understand Sarge, it was a trap. There were TWO Marines in the bar!"
 

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