Don't fear the cocked and locked carry of the 1911. Once you get the hang of it you will feel right at home. It is absolutely safe in the informed persons hand/holster.
I always looked at the 1911 as a standard/stick shift car. My father made me learn on a stick before I could drive the automatic. His reasoning was that if I could drive a stick well, I could handle any automatic car. I learned to shoot with revovlers and encourage my freinds who shoot or have an interest in it to learn how to run a 1911 with proficiency. It is also a peice of American history and just cool to shoot. If you end up not liking it, well, at least now you know. I find the full size conceals well, but am very please with the commander sized models too. Seated, they are more comfortable for me. You may be built different and not mind the full size at all. The S&W ES is something I have been looking at for a while and think it is a great peice. It has a commander slide and an officers grip. Very suitable to carry.
Having said all that, my personal advice is: find a gun you shoot well and figure out a way to carry it. Put some rounds down range with different models, decide the one you shoot best and then find a way to tuck that sucker away. There are alot of great holsters out there and if you find the right one for you, the gun will melt away under the right clothes. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all: guns or holsters.
If you get a 1911, you might as well get it this year during it's 100th anniversary.
Best of luck.