I was at the hospital today, being wheeled on a gurney to have some tests. Part of the hospital had a long ramp, to get from one floor to another, and I was laying there and had a flashback to another hospital so very long ago.
It is a very funny story......allow me to tell it.
It was 1968, and the hospital was at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
You old Nam vets will remember those hospitals. They had a loooong main corridor, with wards off each side that went on for blocks. The wards were all two stories high, and there were no elevators. All they had were these long ramps. You went up one ramp, did a switchback and up again to the upper floor.
Well, I had been a patient for almost 10 months, and was ready for discharge and reassignment. But they were shorthanded, what with that being one of the busiest years in Vietnam, and kept me around for another month. They put me in Hospital whites, and I worked as a transport orderly.
My job was to wheel patients from the emergency room to various wards, labs, x-ray, etc.
It was a fun job. I got to witness emergency room procedures, and sometimes the Doctors would show us how to do stitches and draw blood.
One Saturday night, they brought in a big (300lbs) SFC. He was a cook, and was brought in DOA. It seems he was drunk, and his wife allegedly shot him when he was coming in the door of his quarters late at night.
This guy was huge, and he laid there in the emergency room with this tiny 22 cal. bullet hole right thru his heart. "One shot, one Kill"![[smile]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/001.gif "Smile [smile]")
Needles to say, it was a busy night. The Provost Martial was there, along with a lot of MP's and CID investigators.
Well, along about two in the morning, all the investigating was done, and I was detailed to take the body to the morgue. My other buddy was out in the parking lot smooching with a nurse, so I decided to just take him myself. Big Mistake!
The morgue was way at the other end of the freaking hospital. Due to some construction, I had to wheel him down one long corridor, take him up the ramps to the second floor, then go across to the other end of the hospital and down the ramp again.
Now I never was a big guy, today I weigh the same 165lbs I did when I joined the army in 1966. Half way through the hospital, I was beat. This guy was one heavy mother!.
So, I am using all my might, wheeling him up the ramp, turning and stopping for a rest to catch my breath. I start up the next ramp, and I am giving it all I got. I get near the top, and slipped on some ice cubes somebody spilled on the floor.
At that point, the gurney runs me over, and starts shooting down the ramp.
I swear, that gurney was going forty miles an hour when it crashed into the banister at the bottom.......and the dude went flying through the air like superman.
It took me and three ward orderlies to get him back on the gurney. Did I mention that this guy was huge?![[rofl]](/xen/styles/default/xenforo/smilies.vb/013.gif "ROFL [rofl]")
So we finally wheel him into the morgue, and that was that!
Or so I thought.......
The morning, I get woken up and ordered to the hospital commanders office, IMMEDIATELY!
When I get there, there was a lot of people and news media everywhere, and obviously a bunch of pissed off officers.
It seems when they did the autopsy, the victim had two broken legs, a broken collar bone, a head cuncussion and other abrasions that weren't there the night before when the investigation started.
I got my ass reamed, but not too bad. I think they were really relieved to find out what really happened.
But the look I got from the Provost Martial was pure evil!
And all I could do was LMAO.
It is a very funny story......allow me to tell it.
It was 1968, and the hospital was at Fort Campbell, Kentucky.
You old Nam vets will remember those hospitals. They had a loooong main corridor, with wards off each side that went on for blocks. The wards were all two stories high, and there were no elevators. All they had were these long ramps. You went up one ramp, did a switchback and up again to the upper floor.
Well, I had been a patient for almost 10 months, and was ready for discharge and reassignment. But they were shorthanded, what with that being one of the busiest years in Vietnam, and kept me around for another month. They put me in Hospital whites, and I worked as a transport orderly.
My job was to wheel patients from the emergency room to various wards, labs, x-ray, etc.
It was a fun job. I got to witness emergency room procedures, and sometimes the Doctors would show us how to do stitches and draw blood.
One Saturday night, they brought in a big (300lbs) SFC. He was a cook, and was brought in DOA. It seems he was drunk, and his wife allegedly shot him when he was coming in the door of his quarters late at night.
This guy was huge, and he laid there in the emergency room with this tiny 22 cal. bullet hole right thru his heart. "One shot, one Kill"
Needles to say, it was a busy night. The Provost Martial was there, along with a lot of MP's and CID investigators.
Well, along about two in the morning, all the investigating was done, and I was detailed to take the body to the morgue. My other buddy was out in the parking lot smooching with a nurse, so I decided to just take him myself. Big Mistake!
The morgue was way at the other end of the freaking hospital. Due to some construction, I had to wheel him down one long corridor, take him up the ramps to the second floor, then go across to the other end of the hospital and down the ramp again.
Now I never was a big guy, today I weigh the same 165lbs I did when I joined the army in 1966. Half way through the hospital, I was beat. This guy was one heavy mother!.
So, I am using all my might, wheeling him up the ramp, turning and stopping for a rest to catch my breath. I start up the next ramp, and I am giving it all I got. I get near the top, and slipped on some ice cubes somebody spilled on the floor.
At that point, the gurney runs me over, and starts shooting down the ramp.
I swear, that gurney was going forty miles an hour when it crashed into the banister at the bottom.......and the dude went flying through the air like superman.
It took me and three ward orderlies to get him back on the gurney. Did I mention that this guy was huge?
So we finally wheel him into the morgue, and that was that!
Or so I thought.......
The morning, I get woken up and ordered to the hospital commanders office, IMMEDIATELY!
When I get there, there was a lot of people and news media everywhere, and obviously a bunch of pissed off officers.
It seems when they did the autopsy, the victim had two broken legs, a broken collar bone, a head cuncussion and other abrasions that weren't there the night before when the investigation started.
I got my ass reamed, but not too bad. I think they were really relieved to find out what really happened.
But the look I got from the Provost Martial was pure evil!
And all I could do was LMAO.
