1) Seal bedroom door.
2) Flood rest of house with VX gas.
3) Go back to bed, I'll clean it up in the morning.
2) Flood rest of house with VX gas.
3) Go back to bed, I'll clean it up in the morning.
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An intruder is at your door
- Thread starter Kirkmcpaterson
- Start date
You should have layers of security if you can.
Security lights outside....that are motion activated. Could scare him/her away before they even start....
A good dog because if someone is prowling around outside or testing your door the dog is going to react and perhaps that stops the potential intruder from choosing your house. At this point you might be alerted...
if not and...
you have a monitored alarm system...this does two things..obviously it notifies you when a breach has occurred plus if you cannot get to a phone the PD is notified. If not at least some signs saying the house is monitored. This way if they are casing the area in the day they may make a note they saw a sign at your house and they might choose a different house.
If possible a video surveillance system to help id the person in the event...but not completely necessary
If they still come in then at this point you have a couple of options...one is you wake up a room full of ninjas that are bunking down the hall and they will dispatch the intruder. short of that you should already have your firearm in hand because of your dog and or alarm system you have gave you a few more seconds of time to react and prepare.
You should also have a plan for your family will be while you defend them.
If you have a dog and an alarm it might be good to train the dog to operate in spite of that loud sounds the alarm is making. And in case the intruder has a nice juicy steak to distract the dog it might be a good idea to train the dog to kill the intruder and then eat the steak. Of course these last two training scenarios are optional...
Security lights outside....that are motion activated. Could scare him/her away before they even start....
A good dog because if someone is prowling around outside or testing your door the dog is going to react and perhaps that stops the potential intruder from choosing your house. At this point you might be alerted...
if not and...
you have a monitored alarm system...this does two things..obviously it notifies you when a breach has occurred plus if you cannot get to a phone the PD is notified. If not at least some signs saying the house is monitored. This way if they are casing the area in the day they may make a note they saw a sign at your house and they might choose a different house.
If possible a video surveillance system to help id the person in the event...but not completely necessary
If they still come in then at this point you have a couple of options...one is you wake up a room full of ninjas that are bunking down the hall and they will dispatch the intruder. short of that you should already have your firearm in hand because of your dog and or alarm system you have gave you a few more seconds of time to react and prepare.
You should also have a plan for your family will be while you defend them.
If you have a dog and an alarm it might be good to train the dog to operate in spite of that loud sounds the alarm is making. And in case the intruder has a nice juicy steak to distract the dog it might be a good idea to train the dog to kill the intruder and then eat the steak. Of course these last two training scenarios are optional...
Didn't you forget the step about igniting the thermite plasma devices 10 minutes after the release of the vx to clear the house of the gas? Probably want to put that step in there...lmao...
touche'...that should always be the first step....lol
Goliathan
NES Member
MachineHead
NES Member
- Joined
- May 22, 2015
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They all switched to vaping.
Seems excessive, but fun.
We just vent the air through hydroxide, then steam the environment, test for residuals, repeat as necessary.
CrackPot
NES Member
Is this a trick question?
I quickly open the safe near my bed and put all my guns back into it and lock it back up. They tell me I am statistically more likely to get shot with my own guns so I figure making sure they are locked up is the best course.
I get my 3 different pitched rape whistles and start singing kumbaya accompanied by occasional blows on the whistles in tune.
I grab my poster that says "We prefer rapists to racists"
I boldly walk towards the source of the noise knowing that my good intentions and pure spirit will save me.
I quickly open the safe near my bed and put all my guns back into it and lock it back up. They tell me I am statistically more likely to get shot with my own guns so I figure making sure they are locked up is the best course.
I get my 3 different pitched rape whistles and start singing kumbaya accompanied by occasional blows on the whistles in tune.
I grab my poster that says "We prefer rapists to racists"
I boldly walk towards the source of the noise knowing that my good intentions and pure spirit will save me.
1) The dog wakes up
2) Tactical barrel roll out of bed
3) Realize I just smoked my head off the dresser and apply first aid to the wound
4) strip down bare ass
5) get the gallon of KY lube and pour it all over me
6) Run out of my bedroom and challenge the intruder to a wrestling match.
7) I win because i am lubed up.
2) Tactical barrel roll out of bed
3) Realize I just smoked my head off the dresser and apply first aid to the wound
4) strip down bare ass
5) get the gallon of KY lube and pour it all over me
6) Run out of my bedroom and challenge the intruder to a wrestling match.
7) I win because i am lubed up.
cockpitbob
NES Member
My house has wall speakers in several rooms. I have an iPod with the sound of a 12ga pump being racked.
I tactical roll down the hall to the iPod, push the Play button, then walk to a window, strike up a Newport and watch the BG running for his life.
I tactical roll down the hall to the iPod, push the Play button, then walk to a window, strike up a Newport and watch the BG running for his life.
Last edited:
1) Dog Barks when perp enters yard or gets near house
2) Lawful Firearm Owner hears commotion and hits outside spots on lighting up yard like a Mall
3) Does Perp run off?
A) Yes - Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack
B) No - Man walks to door and asks perp if he wants a 45 or 9mm for a night snack (I keep both by my night stand
4) Perp runs off?
A) Yes, Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack, if time permits tells local popo that someone is out and about
B) No, Man looks to see if Perp has a gun, if NO, dog is let out from back door and commences to eat the shit out of him
Option 2) Man unloads from window above door a complete can of Bear Repellent on Perp
Option 3) Perp has Gun and is banging at the door still, Man advise family up to safe room, sits nearby door waiting to play Plink Plink
5) Man takes well deserved wizz, still gives dog a snack then goes back to bed
2) Lawful Firearm Owner hears commotion and hits outside spots on lighting up yard like a Mall
3) Does Perp run off?
A) Yes - Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack
B) No - Man walks to door and asks perp if he wants a 45 or 9mm for a night snack (I keep both by my night stand
4) Perp runs off?
A) Yes, Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack, if time permits tells local popo that someone is out and about
B) No, Man looks to see if Perp has a gun, if NO, dog is let out from back door and commences to eat the shit out of him
Option 2) Man unloads from window above door a complete can of Bear Repellent on Perp
Option 3) Perp has Gun and is banging at the door still, Man advise family up to safe room, sits nearby door waiting to play Plink Plink
5) Man takes well deserved wizz, still gives dog a snack then goes back to bed
Hi Maura. I will comply with all state and local laws regarding the safe storage of my firearms. If necessary, I'll let my wife and infant son die so as to not engage in "self help" as I know that is not recommended.
what if the perp requests .40?1) Dog Barks when perp enters yard or gets near house
2) Lawful Firearm Owner hears commotion and hits outside spots on lighting up yard like a Mall
3) Does Perp run off?
A) Yes - Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack
B) No - Man walks to door and asks perp if he wants a 45 or 9mm for a night snack (I keep both by my night stand
4) Perp runs off?
A) Yes, Man goes back to sleep, gives dog snack, if time permits tells local popo that someone is out and about
B) No, Man looks to see if Perp has a gun, if NO, dog is let out from back door and commences to eat the shit out of him
Option 2) Man unloads from window above door a complete can of Bear Repellent on Perp
Option 3) Perp has Gun and is banging at the door still, Man advise family up to safe room, sits nearby door waiting to play Plink Plink
5) Man takes well deserved wizz, still gives dog a snack then goes back to bed
I'd get to my computer and post on NES asking what to do, while the cats with untrimmed claws take care of business. I'm not too worried though - the sign on the front door says "gun free zone" so no intruder can hurt me in my safe space.
Do tactical "Capt. Kirk/T.J. Hooker" roll out of bed onto floor while grabbing my .45 with rail light off the night stand. Proceed to empty magazine in a willy-nilly manner because our politicians and the media say all of us gun nuts do that all the time. Reload with another mag and go see if I hit anything. See perp, do another tactical "Capt. Kirk/T.J. Hooker" roll because it's fun and adds drama. Empty another magazine during roll, hitting perp in the chest which sends him flying backwards down the stairs and through the door out onto the lawn (because that's the way it really happens right?). Hand over the perp to the helpful police who have arrived just in time to miss the action. Go get a snack and let the wife and kids know everything is fine, daddy just had to shoot a bad guy, again. We all laugh and go back to bed.
