Another restraining order ?

Mass-diver

Mass-diver

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Hi Guys,

A buddy of mine is going through a messy divorce. He's a super nice guy, never even raised his voice to his wife. She was cheating on him for a long time and when he found out, she hit the road.

They don't have kids or own a home. However, she is being super aggressive at the early stages. He called me last night freaking out that she is going to get a restraining order and he's going to lose his guns and his carry permit. It seems like he has decent lawyer, but she's a divorce lawyer and doesn't really seem to know/care about the issue of ROs and guns.

Any words of wisdom? Is he just plain screwed?
 
Someone i know had the same thing happen to them. The cops came and took all the guns and put them in storage. After everything got settled down, He got his guns back. Another option is to sign them over to someone else until it blows over.

But in the mean time, tell him to stay away from her so they don't have a reason not to give them back. :)
 
Mass-diver said:
Hi Guys,

A buddy of mine is going through a messy divorce. He's a super nice guy, never even raised his voice to his wife. She was cheating on him for a long time and when he found out, she hit the road.

They don't have kids or own a home. However, she is being super aggressive at the early stages. He called me last night freaking out that she is going to get a restraining order and he's going to lose his guns and his carry permit. It seems like he has decent lawyer, but she's a divorce lawyer and doesn't really seem to know/care about the issue of ROs and guns.

Any words of wisdom? Is he just plain screwed?
Click to expand...

He's probably screwed but look on the bright side, you'll probably get his guns.

My Uncle got an RO when he was divorced and now I have all of his guns.
 
He should ask his lawyer if they know how to deal with 209A issues. If they don't, I'd probably get another lawyer.

There may be preventative steps he can take to limit the damage- eg, transferring his guns to a friend until the cloud blows over, etc, rather than
having the police confiscate them if they show up with an RO.

I'm not a lawyer but at this point it is imperative that he has no contact,
IMO. EG, he should never be in the same location with her alone, period. That's how crap gets "made up" etc. If it's that bad any and all communication should go through a lawyer.

-Mike
 
Thanks guys.

He's going to call me tonight. I think he's meeting with laywer today or talking to her on the phone.

Do you think I should just take possession of his firearms - you can lend guns right? He's a good friend (plus I love to a few more EBRs around) He has a few ARs and M1A and a couple pistols. I have an ALP.

I think his Father has an ALP as well, should he just bring the firearms over to his Dad's house?
 
Mass-diver said:
Thanks guys.

He's going to call me tonight. I think he's meeting with laywer today or talking to her on the phone.

Do you think I should just take possession of his firearms - you can lend guns right? He's a good friend (plus I love to a few more EBRs around) He has a few ARs and M1A and a couple pistols. I have an ALP.

I think his Father has an ALP as well, should he just bring the firearms over to his Dad's house?
Click to expand...

This might be doable but there may be some sticky issues with this
legally. He might want to get someone like Darius (Cross-X) in the loop,
too... at least that's the first person I'd be calling if I smelled a 209A coming.

-Mike
 
>They don't have any kids together
>and they don't own a home together

He should, avoid ever calling her, avoid going to places shes known to be
Keep track and log all calls she makes to him, prove she's the one stalking or harassing
She has a license to practice law right ? if she jeopardizes his LTC, remember theres the Mass Bar.
 
From what I've seen it's the 1st move in the divorce lawyer play book. Gets the guy outta the house and away from any assets they may share.
1. He needs to get a GOOD lawyer.
2. He should xfer any firearms to someone he trusts even if that means going through an FFL with the expense of doing a bunch of xfers.
3. He should stay as far away from the young lady as he can. No contact except through his lawyer.

And even if he does all this he still might be screwed.

"I've never seen a rock as hard as a womans breast and I can find no sign on it".
 
get a stack of FA-10's NOW or get to a FFL NOW and get all his guns to you legally. If there is a 209A pulled you can't give them to him under any circumstances, but you can sell them for him AND GIVE HIM THE CASH, beats having them confiscated.

Tell him to cease any and all contact with her, document his every move, because she will claim he did this and that, and he has to prove he didn't.

"yes or no Mr Smith have you stopped beating your wife."

she has to prove to the courts (in theory) that she has been threatened or otherwise feels she is in imminent danger of harm to get a RO, but she can say, (and she will be coached when filling out the applicationn btw) that he raised his voice to her, that he said he would "get her for this" etc, and he is farked for life.

Get his guns now, tell him to go hide somewhere and not tell anyone where, get a disposable cell phone tell him to turn his other phone off, or leave it with you. You can answer it and relay messages if you want. Cops love to serve these things on a friday after court closes so the guy has rot in jail until monday
 
Thanks guys, I'm going to pass on the information to him. I'll keep the thread updated.

And, yes he's one of those bastards responsible for the ammo shortage - I know he has couple thousands rounds of ammo laying around.
 
If he knows the RO is coming, he should probably get the guns into someone else's hands. The problem is how to do it legally. +1 on contacting one of the attorneys on here for advice. It doesn't mean he has to fire the original lawyer if he thinks she is best suited to handle the actual divorce issue. There's nothing that prevents a second attorney from advising him in just the area of his guns.

Tell your friend I wish him well. In the PRM, the cards in a divorce are stacked against the male, no question. I watched it happen to my brother years ago, and that was with a "friendly" divorce. [sad]
 
Mass-diver said:
Thanks guys.

He's going to call me tonight. I think he's meeting with laywer today or talking to her on the phone.

Do you think I should just take possession of his firearms - you can lend guns right? He's a good friend (plus I love to a few more EBRs around) He has a few ARs and M1A and a couple pistols. I have an ALP.

I think his Father has an ALP as well, should he just bring the firearms over to his Dad's house?
Click to expand...

If I were in his shoes, I'd want a friend to take them for me instead of my father if he were still alive. I'd pick a friend over giving them to my brother, even though he has an ALP and I trust him completely. To me it just sounds better if a 3rd party is holding them for you rather than immediate family who is easily identified (who did you give your guns to?) and far more emotionally involved and likely to become embroiled in any disputes which are bound to come up.
 
Last edited:
Glockaholic said:
.

Tell him to cease any and all contact with her,
Click to expand...


+1 Most men just cant' seem to get that through their heads.

IMHO she is pushing the restraining order for a reason. Most likely she's just trying to be a Jerk. Or maybe the boyfriend is afraid he'll catch a bullet.
 
Dziner said:
would it help for him to get an RO on her before she gets one on him? kind of a preemptive strike?
Click to expand...

Probably not. In fact; I would think it would be more of an incentive for her to get one.

MA divorce laws are almost as horrific as its gun laws.

Best of luck.
 
Dziner said:
would it help for him to get an RO on her before she gets one on him? kind of a preemptive strike?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't, as it will do nothing but piss off the target, and it won't stop her from filing one anyways.

-Mike
 
You should get over to his house and start helping with the FA10s, you can write while he dials one of the lawyers here on the telephone.
 
Have him talk to a firearms attorney (e.g., Darius, Jesse, Keith, etc.) immediately. It is probably better for him to take preemptive action transferring firearms in case she does file for a 209A.
 
jobowker said:
If I were in his shoes, I'd want a friend to take them for me instead of my father if he were still alive. I'd pick a friend over giving them to my brother, even though he has an ALP and I trust him completely. To me it just sounds better if a 3rd party is holding them for you rather than immediate family who is easily identified (who did you give your guns to?) and far more emotionally involved and likely to become embroiled in any disputes which are bound to come up.
Click to expand...

+1

Make sure his father does not get the firearms. You don't want this kind of stuff kept in the family with whats happening. It will look extremely bad if it goes to trial/jury. I know first hand..... (not with firearms though)
 
I walked out of my house one day and the house next to me was surrounded by police officers.

I said to the nearest cop, what's going on? He said, The guys in there's ex-wife called and said He been calling her all day and threatening her. She want's us to take him in and take his guns. You better go back in your house..

I said, Good Luck, He went to Maine with his new girlfriend two weeks ago and is still there and won't be back for another week. If you don't believe me I got the keys, I put his mail on his kitchen table every day and feed his fish..

Some times it pays to get out of town..
 
The trick is to keep the guns out of the Dowd extortion warehouse, and create a sufficiently documentable paper trail so he can convince the court and police he has really divested himself of all guns so that he will retain a chance of getting his LTC back when the ordeal is over.

And remember, for the purpose of transfer and the 4 gun per calender year limit, stripped frames are not firearms under MGL.
 
Mass-diver said:
Hi Guys,

A buddy of mine is going through a messy divorce. He's a super nice guy, never even raised his voice to his wife. She was cheating on him for a long time and when he found out, she hit the road.

They don't have kids or own a home. However, she is being super aggressive at the early stages. He called me last night freaking out that she is going to get a restraining order and he's going to lose his guns and his carry permit. It seems like he has decent lawyer, but she's a divorce lawyer and doesn't really seem to know/care about the issue of ROs and guns.

Any words of wisdom? Is he just plain screwed?
Click to expand...
It is about time that the guns do a disappearing act. How far is he from the NH border? I would rent a storage unit in either NH or ME and store the guns there. Sure, the cops can grab his FID or LTC, but then what? Let them get a warrant to search his living area. They will find nothing. If he lets the cops grab them, he will probably lose them forever. BTW, as far as getting the LTC back, it would depend upon the chief. In Wakefield, the chief will not issue or renew a LTC for anyone who has ever had a 209A RO against them for whatever reason, justified or not. His guns are better off out of state at this point.
 
I got a RO on my ex-wife this past January...it took getting a lawyer but I got one for 6 months. If your buddy gets one at least filed first she CAN'T get one against him. I was a victim of domestic violence and she was still harassing the crap outta me/my family and I did what I had to do. I would say that she is mentally abusing him still, Stalking him, whatever to at least get in his claim before hers to at least buy him some time espically if he is SURE she is going to get a RO on him.
 
Mattitude said:
I got a RO on my ex-wife this past January...it took getting a lawyer but I got one for 6 months. If your buddy gets one at least filed first she CAN'T get one against him. I was a victim of domestic violence and she was still harassing the crap outta me/my family and I did what I had to do. I would say that she is mentally abusing him still, Stalking him, whatever to at least get in his claim before hers to at least buy him some time espically if he is SURE she is going to get a RO on him.
Click to expand...

I thought that RO's can be filed in "retaliatory" fashion. As in if I file one against party A, then party A can go and file one against me in "retaliation".
 
Mattitude said:
If your buddy gets one at least filed first she CAN'T get one against him.
Click to expand...

I don't think this is true at all, at least in MA. 209A's woudln't be such a big deal if you could preemptively block them that way. The courts in this state
pretty much issue women a blank check with these too, initially.

-Mike
 

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