do you spend as much time focused on her as you do shooting? my guess would be no. When was the last time the two of you spent quality time, without the kids? how often? the chances of you needing to defend your life are far less likely than you losing a happy marriage through neglect.
You are guessing a lot . I don't compete and train to defend myself, I shoot purely for sport and the thrill of competition . I would say everything you mentioned does not apply to my circumstance