Contact in the Dorchester PD? update post #14

[smokey-seven]

Long story, not worth repeating.

Have a pal of 40 years from New Mexico. Adult daughter is in an abusive relationship with a husband in Dorchester. She has been cut off from the world, car taken away, no phone, kept in seclusion. Dad has all the info, just no way to contact her.

Dad is at his wits end, and will call PD tomorrow to lay out the whole can of worms. Anyone point out a specific person he could contact?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Palladin]

Boston PD, Dorchester is a section of Boston

 

[cams]

Busy place, he won’t get far on the phone. Main number will be a call taker/report taker, the alleged victim is an adult, all they can do is advise her to leave and stay with a friend and/or file for a restraining order.

If they consider it serious enough she’ll have to file for an emergency RO and can do that at the police station, it’s good for 24hrs, then show up a clerks hearing the next day to file a (semi) permanent order.

Frustrating I know but from what you’ve posted, it’s a civil matter between two adults, nothing criminal in there and police won’t be able to do much of anything but give the same advise I just did.

Look around the immediate area for abuse counselors and such, they may offer some better assistance and guide the process better than a cop on the phone can or will.

 

[richc]

I grew up near Station 11 (aka Dorchester police station). Don't know anyone these days.

Could he hire a Private Investigator with ties to that police station? Perhaps a retired cop?

 

[ronzo]

they have a website....

District C-11

 

[Len-2A Training]

Busy place, he won’t get far on the phone. Main number will be a call taker/report taker, the alleged victim is an adult, all they can do is advise her to leave and stay with a friend and/or file for a restraining order.

If they consider it serious enough she’ll have to file for an emergency RO and can do that at the police station, it’s good for 24hrs, then show up a clerks hearing the next day to file a (semi) permanent order.

Frustrating I know but from what you’ve posted, it’s a civil matter between two adults, nothing criminal in there and police won’t be able to do much of anything but give the same advise I just did.

Look around the immediate area for abuse counselors and such, they may offer some better assistance and guide the process better than a cop on the phone can or will.

Big difference between big city policing and small suburb. Our PD would respond immediately. If anyone even hears someone yell, they respond and offer everyone involved 209As . . . and I'm not joking about that. Today a housekeeper in a motel heard some loud yelling/talking and police responded and did exactly that. Turns out it was nothing more than a couple in a verbal argument, no violence, no weapons but they were still offered 209As.

I agree with Cams, Google search for women's shelters and give them a call. In Boston, they are more likely to respond.

 

[cams]

Agreed, big difference in how a lot of things are handled. Just comes with the territory.

 

[mjbff]

Go to the station plead your concern to desk officer Guarantee you It will be looked into in this day and age 911 is for emergencies only So it’s not an immediate danger don’t call 911 they will send somebody here immediately and if they find nothing they will leave you want somebody to investigate good luck

 

[MachineHead]

Good luck with this situation.

Just spitballing here but In the meantime, if she was willing, it would be nice to:

-Get her shit together as dirtbag is at work (assuming he works).
-Close any and all accounts he has any access to.
-Redirect all her mail to her father’s address. Father can send it to her new address.
-Father can prepay for her to stay at a hotel somewhere for some time, so her name doesn’t show.
-Go to Walmart, get a cheapo debit card and prepaid cellphone.
-Get 209A
-LTC would be nice if she doesn’t have one already. (Address might be a problem if she isnt in her own place)

Above all, this all depends on her readiness to be done with this relationship and determination to never go back. Unfortunately, some are not ready to leave the shit situation and get cold feet either before or during the time away. I’m also assuming most of the above has to to happen within the time he’s at work.

 

[mjg0519]

The Boston Police has a unit that is assigned to handle family problems, including domestic violence, in their "Family Justice Center". Their number is 617-343-4350.
Family Justice Center

They would be able to help guide your friend, connect the victim with an advisor and services, assist with shelter and legal system, etc. In the end though as much as the family may not want to hear it, she's an adult and ultimately needs to make the choice to leave. They can reach out and offer support (and there is a lot of it available in MA) but she needs to make the call.

 

[Rob Boudrie]

Today a housekeeper in a motel heard some loud yelling/talking and police responded and did exactly that. Turns out it was nothing more than a couple in a verbal argument, no violence, no weapons but they were still offered 209As.

When I started reading this, I thought you were going to tell us the offered 209As because a TV set had the volume too high.

 

[garandman]

PM sent.

The Boston Police has a unit that is assigned to handle family problems, including domestic violence, in their "Family Justice Center". Their number is 617-343-4350.
Family Justice Center

They would be able to help guide your friend, connect the victim with an advisor and services, assist with shelter and legal system, etc. In the end though as much as the family may not want to hear it, she's an adult and ultimately needs to make the choice to leave. They can reach out and offer support (and there is a lot of it available in MA) but she needs to make the call.

Those domestics must be absolutely maddening for Police to deal with.

We watched a kid slug his gf walking down the street. Me and two other guys intervened. The girl who had just been slugged started defending him.....

 

[Len-2A Training]

When I started reading this, I thought you were going to tell us the offered 209As because a TV set had the volume too high.

In my town they would too!

PM sent.
Those domestics must be absolutely maddening for Police to deal with.

We watched a kid slug his gf walking down the street. Me and two other guys intervened. The girl who had just been slugged started defending him.....

This is SOP, as soon as the police enter the scene both sides consider the police to be the enemy. I've experienced this first hand and it was scary as hell.

 

[smokey-seven]

My thanks to all that reached out. His daughter obtained a throw away phone and contacted her dad yeaterday eve.

Hubby is a druggie and off his prescription meds, but she now can contact people when she needs it, so that's progress.

It's a tough situation especially third party, but at least dad and mom are back in touch. Again, my thanks!

 

[Hetzer]

They're back in touch until he finds the phone and takes it away or the minutes run out. The situation is unchanged and will get worse when he finds out about the phone and loses it.

 

[greencobra]

hope this situation eases for the woman now...but there's more to this story than we know. if this was my daughter, i'd be in town with a buddy or two as fast as i could get here instructing the son in law how to show respect and getting daughter packed and ready to move back to nm with me. this is a sad situation for sure.

 

[Carver patriot]

Me being a dad would take every penny i have and fly up to MA and make that mother f***er disappear. Nothing makes me more angry then thinking about one of my daughters in an abusive relationship. They would find that guy on a side road somewhere dead with a needle in his arm O.D.

 

[Bostonian23]

PM sent

 

[garandman]

hope this situation eases for the woman now...but there's more to this story than we know. if this was my daughter, i'd be in town with a buddy or two as fast as i could get here instructing the son in law how to show respect and getting daughter packed and ready to move back to nm with me. this is a sad situation for sure.

And what if she refused to leave, and defended him? Because that’s what usually happens in these abusive relationships. Ask any LEO about “domestics.” Awful, and inexplicable to most others.

Just hope you haven’t raised daughters who will stay in that kind of relationship.

 

[greencobra]

And what if she refused to leave, and defended him? Because that’s what usually happens in these abusive relationships. Ask any LEO about “domestics.” Awful, and inexplicable to most others.

i think you still gotta try. but if she's trying to reach out to dad i'm guessing that's the cry for help.

 

[smokey-seven]

The whole issue was that she was not capable of being contacted. They had an address but her phone was dead, no car, no money and her dad reached out to me since I'm only 30 minutes away. I asked him is he wanted me to go in hot and he calmed down a bit, he was putting together a step by step list to talk to law enforcement when she called him with a new cell phone saying she was ok.

So at this point she is not asking for help and is dealing with the situation as well as she can.

Me being a dad would take every penny i have and fly up to MA

Dad's issue is health. He cannot travel.

For all you that offered help, he and I thank you very much.

 

[MachineHead]

Good to hear that she can at least contact her father. Hope all goes well and she comes out of this in the best possible shape.

 

[Len-2A Training]

And what if she refused to leave, and defended him? Because that’s what usually happens in these abusive relationships. Ask any LEO about “domestics.” Awful, and inexplicable to most others.

Just hope you haven’t raised daughters who will stay in that kind of relationship.

^^^^ QFT

I've seen this first hand as a LEO. As a supervisor a very long time ago I had an employee speak to me about her continually getting into abusive relationships . . . her motivation to talk with me was that I had just taken over the group and there was a former lover of hers in an adjacent group (they now hated each other and she didn't want to be in the same work area together).

It's a vicious cycle for most of them.