For a million dollars a year I will suck dick for the NRA. Send me there. I'll do 90 hour work weeks so long as the Listerine is covered by the NRA. Finally make the lack of teeth work to my advantage. Shit, for 500k a year I'll even live in that cesspool, since the NRA is going to pay for my "office" aka domicile in additon to my salary and let me write off big lunch and dinner bills as business meetings. So long as they have a Cheesecake Factory I'll be available 24/7.
Jokes aside, your heel-digging is shocking. Are you from a background or area where palm greasing is the norm and the only way to get things done? Where getting caught with your hands in the kitty is just an "oopsie"?