I'm not military, but my dad is. Former Navy, in the late 50's. He's getting on and feeling his mortality. He wants to be cremated and buried in a military cemetery, and asked me to look into the details. He's in CT, if that makes any difference. I've never had anything to do with any funeral arrangements, let alone remote (I'm in MA). Any ideas on how I might go about all this? Things I think I need to know:
- How to set up cremation. I assume I can do that thru the funeral home, but correct me if I'm wrong there
- How to get permission to be buried in a military cemetery. I don't even know where one is in CT.
- Is there a difference between arranging for a full casket vs cremated remains?
- Would my mom be able to be buried with him? If not, that'll be an interesting conversation with mom.
- Whether or not you can still get an honor guard for the burial itself. I've read years ago that there was an availability problem, but never paid much attention
- How to link together the wake, funeral, and burial when there's a cremation in the middle. Again, assuming that the funeral home could provide some guidance here, but figured I'd ask.
Thanks in advance for answers and any other insights
Licensed Mass. Funeral Director here.
1) Any funeral home of your choice can set up cremation.
2) You just need a copy of your dad's DD-214. He is entitled to be buried in any Veterans Administration cemetery in any state. I don't see a VA veterans cemetery in my directory for Connecticut, although there are two state veterans cemeteries (Similar qualifications with some slight differences) Massachusetts has the Massachusetts National Veterans Cemetery in Bourne, and two state run veterans cemeteries in Winchendon and Agawam. The funeral home can submit the application to any cemetery for you.
3) The veterans cemetery just needs to know if you will be burying an urn or a casket. (By the way, the urn MUST include all of the cremated remains. They do now allow you to bury some and scatter some somewhere else, etc.)
4) The deceased veteran is entitled to a grave for himself/herself, and one for their spouse. It doesn't matter if the non-veteran spouse dies first. The non-veteran spouse can be buried first, with a grave next to them reserved for the future burial of the veteran. The non-veteran can be a full burial (Casket) and the veteran can be a cremation (Urn), both cremations, both burials..it doesn't matter. The Massachusetts National Cemetery in Bourne also has above ground cremation niches available. (A niche is like a mausoleum for urns.)
5) The several branches rectified the problem we were having obtaining funeral honor guards, and there should be no problem getting one. He is only entitled to one honor guard ceremony, either at the place of burial, or at the place of the funeral service or wake. The funeral home can arrange this for you.
6) You can have the cremation first, and then a wake with the urn, funeral service, then burial of the urn immediately after. If you wanted to have a viewing/wake first, funeral service, then cremation; the funeral home would need a couple of days to complete the cremation. In that case, you would need to schedule the burial of the urn at least a couple of days after the viewing and funeral service.
Wheeler686
