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i spent an hour this morning watching jim bakker, the televangelist. remember him? tammy faye...heritage usa...back in the day? well now, he's hawking, along with new wife, prepper supplies to keep you away from the coronavirus infected who roam the planet, and soon coming to a neighborhood near you. he's got 60 meal buckets that feature "chicken-like" soups and stews, thick irish oatmeal. how thick you ask? i guess you can add a half gallon of water to a serving size and eat it for days. bakkers wife said "yummy, we eat from the bucket several times a week!" yes, she actually said that. they sell a generator with solar option, a series of solar panels embedded onto a folding card table you can deploy in seconds to catch the rays. and lastly, he still sells that silver solution nose spray that made the news last week. the cdc, fda and ftc told him to stop claiming it kills the virus along with among other things, common flu and colds, achs and pain when used topically, dandruff when you spray it on your head and as a virus shield if you keep the spray bottle handy and spritz your surroundings. disclaimer: bakker doesn't say it kills the virus any more, but says it does "something."
ok, best yet, if i buy my prepper supplies from bakkers ministry, god will look down favorably at me and possibly keep me and the family safe, and send me the optional hand crank, a $125 option, for the generator. they didn't say if the crank was shipped from heaven or earth.
We want a full report when you get the shipment...