Survival Quiz

[Boghog1]

You and a group of friend have decided to take the trip of a lifetime by going hunting in AK, the plane that was taking you to your remote spot has crashed and the pilot has died. it is mid March and you are somewhere here
View attachment 19920
You have:
A small ax
A loaded .44-caliber pistol and one box of 50 rounds ammo less 6 rounds
Can of Crisco shortening (what was the pilot planning on doing to you and your friends)
Newspapers (one per person)
NES Zippo lighter (without fluid you keep it for sentimental reasons)
Heavy shirt and jacket for each survivor
20 x 20 ft. heavy-duty canvas Tarp
A sectional air map made of plastic (see above)
One quart of 100-proof whiskey
A compass from the airplanes dash
Family-size chocolate bars (one per person)

The rest of your gear was flown ahead, what do you do? and how do you do it?

 

[ChevyGuy91]

Shoot the hostage?

 

[Boghog1]

you are almost there Ed, you forgot the where part

 

[Gonzo]

I read this when I was 12, so I'm good.

 

[el duderino]

Use the axe as a crude shovel, dig a deadfall trap and cover it with the tarp, spread leaves over it. Wait for bear to fall in, smash it over the head with bottle of booze, skin it and make a bear fur suit using the fibers from the tarp. Use compass to point you in direction of camp, start walking, use .44 to shoot at planes that fly too close.

 

[Polibious]

Give everything but the .44 + ammo and whiskey to the smartest survivor and hope for the best.

 

[AllaSnackbah]

If you think I'm wasting whiskey trying to fill up the zippo when I've got a plane full of fuel right next to me, we're gonna be down a bullet and up a candy bar.

lmfao

 

[noddaduma]

1. Drink whiskey

2. Shoot 20 rounds of .44 in air

3. ???

4. Profit

 

[Palladin]

any hot broads?

 

[ChevyGuy91]

any hot broads?

I might have shot her...sorry, I can be a bit excitable.

 

[Gonzo]

I might have shot her...sorry, I can be a bit excitable.

 

[Palladin]

I might have shot her...sorry, I can be a bit excitable.

Dude. You save her til the end, then you eat her.

ah......for food, you know.....

 

[Twigg]

Shoot an extra Bison.

Roast one and drink the whiskey.

The ranger should be there to arrest you and take you back to Anchorage in a couple hours.

 

[koydog]

if it were me it would be a murder murder murder drunk murder suicide
guess where i fit into that order

 

[MaroonedinMA]

1. Call dominos and be rescued in 31 minutes or less

2. Tell my girl I'm "just out with the boys." guaranteed, she'll find me in no time flat.

3. Drink all the whiskey and then wave the .44 about wildly...a braintree RSO should be along shortly to scold me. When that happens, I'll catch a ride back in his Fudd-mobile.

4. Realize I'm outa Massachusetts and consider staying put.

5. Rub one out and then wait for dehydration and death cause frankly, I'm pretty lazy.

Shall I continue?

 

[eric_07]

1. Drink whiskey

2. Shoot 20 rounds of .44 in air

3. ???

4. Profit

holy s*** this had me laughing out loud with people looking over wondering wtf i was doing

 

[wolf223]

is calling my parents an option?

 

[Boghog1]

only if you shoot yourself while drawing

 

[el duderino]

1. Call dominos and be rescued in 31 minutes or less

Is 44 rounds enough to order a pizza in morse code?

 

[wolf223]

only if you shoot yourself while drawing

i have the right gun [glock] for that

 

[ARV]

If you think I'm wasting whiskey trying to fill up the zippo when I've got a plane full of fuel right next to me, we're gonna be down a bullet and up a candy bar.

Well for starters that's a waste of a bullet. You teach the idiot something when you fill the lighter with fuel from the plane. Then you camp out waiting for the rescue mission that will ( I would hope ) be soon to follow when the plane did not return and they follow the flight plan looking for it. Then when you hear the sound of a rescue plane, you take the previously mentioned idiot and again teach him, this time about signaling for help. Contrast, motion, and sound. So douse him in aviation fuel and light him up.

 

[Gibbs]

Is 44 rounds enough to order a pizza in morse code?

Yeah...no, closer to like 200 rounds, including the one through my thigh:

. / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .-.. .. -.- . / - --- / --- .-. -.. . .-. / .- / .--. .. --.. --.. .- --..-- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- / . -..- - .-. .- / -.-. .... . . ... . .-.-.- / -.. . .-.. .. ...- . .-. . -.. / - --- / .-- .... . .-. . ...- . .-. / .. / .- -- / -. --- .-- .-.-.- / - .... .- -. -.- ... .-.-.-

 

[Business]

take tarp and make shelter over the plane, gather ingredients for a fire dry grass sticks logs whatever you can break open a couple of rounds and ignite the gun powder with the spark from the lighter to start the camp fire. ration the candy bars. all Alaskan bush flights register flight plans with the FAA when it goes missing a search party will be launched and they will be able to spot you easier with the smoke from the fire. Worst case scenario you can eat the pilot while you wait

 

[MisterHappy]

Since the only injury specified is the pilot, everyone is fine.
Commercial flight should have filed a flight plan. Search party will be sent.
Plane has an ELT that should be broadcasting due to the hard landing. If it's not broadcasting, turn it on.
Since the plane did not burn, and since the only KIA was the pilot, then there's a good chance that the radio is operational. Use it for a Mayday.
If there's juice in the batteries, use the power to illuminate the running lights for night rescue.
Set up the tarp for shelter over the plane's structure.
Use avgas to fill the zippo, start a fire.
Have stuff like upholstery, tires, etc that will smoke handy.
Find water. If you're nervous about the water, make a boiling vessel from plane chunks; or filter and add booze to kill the microbes and brain cells.
Have 1-2 people detailed to scan the sky at all times, for rescue craft.
If rescue is not forthcoming within 24 hours, wait another 24 hours.

If, after 48 hours (assuming no horrendous weather that would keep SAR away) think about long pig recipies.


Sorry to break the humor thread, but most of the good stuff was used up.
On a practical note, it's very unlikely that a bush plane would not have a survival pack on board, so there'd be more supplies.

Also: Don't eat a lot of choke cherries, kick porcupines and annoy skunks at close range, or piss off moose. And avoid tornados.

 

[OCB]

Yeah...no, closer to like 200 rounds, including the one through my thigh:

. / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .-.. .. -.- . / - --- / --- .-. -.. . .-. / .- / .--. .. --.. --.. .- --..-- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- / . -..- - .-. .- / -.-. .... . . ... . .-.-.- / -.. . .-.. .. ...- . .-. . -.. / - --- / .-- .... . .-. . ...- . .-. / .. / .- -- / -. --- .-- .-.-.- / - .... .- -. -.- ... .-.-.-

Dude, I said no onion.

 

[OCB]

Shoot an extra Bison.

Roast one and drink the whiskey.

The ranger should be there to arrest you and take you back to Anchorage in a couple hours.

You shot 686lbs of meat, but you can only carry 150lbs back to the wagon.

 

[ARV]

You shot 686lbs of meat, but you can only carry 150lbs back to the wagon.

 

[el duderino]

Yeah...no, closer to like 200 rounds, including the one through my thigh:

. / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .-.. .. -.- . / - --- / --- .-. -.. . .-. / .- / .--. .. --.. --.. .- --..-- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . .-.-.- / . -..- - .-. .- / -.-. .... . . ... . .-.-.- / -.. . .-.. .. ...- . .-. . -.. / - --- / .-- .... . .-. . ...- . .-. / .. / .- -- / -. --- .-- .-.-.- / - .... .- -. -.- ... .-.-.-

Did you remember extra pepperoni?

 

[drewh14]

You shot 686lbs of meat, but you can only carry 150lbs back to the wagon.

Had to steal that from the other thread!

 

[Prepper]

Put alcohol in lighter, and have it ready. Sit quietly and listen for distant airplane engine sounds (hopefully at night but this should work in daytime too, especially since its not very bright in March in Alaska's daytime anyway). When you hear the plane, use remaining alcohol to make a path from the plane's fuel tank to a safe distance; light with the Zippo. Enjoy the explosion and its brief warm glow, and hope the distant plane sees the massive fireball. As plane approaches and flies overhead to investigate, alert the plane to your presence and that you are still alive (and not inside the fireball) by shooting at the plane.