If you enjoy the forum please consider supporting it by signing up for a NES Membership The benefits pay for the membership many times over.
Be sure to enter the NES/Pioneer Valley Arms February Giveaway ***Smith & Wesson SD9VE 9MM***
I have heard over and over that these guns are really hard to get apart. I was contemplating buying one until I asked a dealer to show me how to get it apart...and it took him 30 minutes! I've never owned a gun before so I sure as shit don't want a difficult gun to strip as my first gun.
Have you tried pointing the muzzle up while doing everything? That's what the dealer was trying when he did it.
Sorry I can't be more help...just know you're not alone.