Situation: Burglar/Prowler

[In_God_We_Trust]

I'm too afraid to lose my gun rights. I'd take a few butcherknife stabs to the chest before I decided to get up, unlock my gun safe, retrieve my .45, go over to the ammo box, unlock that, retrieve a mag, insert it into said .45, rack the slide, and politely ask the attacker to leave.

I love Massachusetts.

What! Are you telling me you cannot do that in under 3 seconds?

 

[one-eyed Jack]

I'm too afraid to lose my gun rights. I'd take a few butcherknife stabs to the chest before I decided to get up, unlock my gun safe, retrieve my .45, go over to the ammo box, unlock that, retrieve a mag, insert it into said .45, rack the slide, and politely ask the attacker to leave.

I love Massachusetts.

You LOCK UP your guns and ammo at night? You've got to be shitting me. Jack.

 

[pdm]

You LOCK UP your guns and ammo at night? You've got to be shitting me. Jack.

Some of us aren't blessed with understanding partners. I catch hell if she figures out I'm even carrying. Which is worse if it's in public when she finally figures it out.

 

[EddieCoyle]

I'd make sure it's a cat, then shoot it.

 

[Negotiator]

Wow, you guys make these scenarios too easy.

Firstly, said intruder would be seriously delayed in any nefarious pursuits by my vicious pair of Welsh Springer Spaniels. Realising they have an uninvited gusts late at night, they would slobber all over them in an effort to extract treats, belly rubs, or both. Then amidst all the doggy ballyhoo that would be going on, I'd elbow the wife in the side and get her up and out of bed for a situation report. Then and only then, would I pull out the pin on the banana skin claymors which would have the intruders slipping and sliding , still being slobbered on by the dogs. Call the cops, then serve coffee and doughnuts to the cops as we chat about local crime stats...

Give me a break. These scenario posts are worse than useless.

Can't believe I just wasted a couple of minutes typing this.

 

[one-eyed Jack]

Some of us aren't blessed with understanding partners. I catch hell if she figures out I'm even carrying. Which is worse if it's in public when she finally figures it out.

My wife keeps her belly gun closer than I do mine. Even though the sons are grown up and gone, the mother and the cubs thing seems to liger on. Jack.

 

[RIFLEMAN1000]

First i would wake up the piece of shit brother in law whos staying with me now (because hes wife now has come to the conclusion hes a piece of shit and threw him out) and send him downstairs to investigate carrying a nerf missle launcher. The whole time i will be hoping and praying that the intruder is HEAVILY armed to the teeth and the two will get in a firefight of epic scale.
When said firefight is done i will then go downstairs and congradulate the intruder , offer him a drink and a fine cigar and allow him to take whatever he desires (i have insurance afterall). Than after im sure hes made good his escape i will proceed to call the police and tell them i think something terrible has happened and if they are done eating donuts and drinking coffe could they come by the house.

Yes dear its gonna be a great Christmas.

 

[jdubois]

I'm good. I got the plans for a secret hideout from a dear friend of mine.

 

[clinotus]

First i would wake up the piece of shit brother in law whos staying with me now (because hes wife now has come to the conclusion hes a piece of shit and threw him out) and send him downstairs to investigate carrying a nerf missle launcher. The whole time i will be hoping and praying that the intruder is HEAVILY armed to the teeth and the two will get in a firefight of epic scale.
When said firefight is done i will then go downstairs and congradulate the intruder , offer him a drink and a fine cigar and allow him to take whatever he desires (i have insurance afterall). Than after im sure hes made good his escape i will proceed to call the police and tell them i think something terrible has happened and if they are done eating donuts and drinking coffe could they come by the house.

Yes dear its gonna be a great Christmas.

This is awesome.

 

[45collector]

You LOCK UP your guns and ammo at night? You've got to be shitting me. Jack.

I'm assuming in NH you can sleep with an unlocked, loaded gun under your pillow, or on the nightstand. Not so in MA. The nanosecond you slip into slumberland with an unsecured firearm in your home, you are breaking the law. So yeah, I try to follow every rediculous restriction placed upon us by the almighty powers that be.

However, There are sleepless nights where you may find me sitting indian style on the kitchen floor, staring calmly into the darkness, with a loaded 12 gauge in my lap. You as a burglar, may make your best guess as to which nights those are.

 

[MasterShinken]

First, I think my roomba would attack the BG, it attacks everything else, so why not...
Next as my g/f and myself would both be in my bedroom I would proceed to either grab my 12 gauge, in which my g/f would grab it away from me and say MINE!... slightly saddened I would then grab my sig .40 out of the safe, dial 911, and we would both take position behind my bed and aim at the door, wait paciently, when someone passes by the door, decide if it's a threat, take necessary action, grab coffee and wait for police.

 

[one-eyed Jack]

I'm assuming in NH you can sleep with an unlocked, loaded gun under your pillow, or on the nightstand. Not so in MA. The nanosecond you slip into slumberland with an unsecured firearm in your home, you are breaking the law. So yeah, I try to follow every rediculous restriction placed upon us by the almighty powers that be.

However, There are sleepless nights where you may find me sitting indian style on the kitchen floor, staring calmly into the darkness, with a loaded 12 gauge in my lap. You as a burglar, may make your best guess as to which nights those are.

Each to his own. 'Nuff said. Jack.

 

[edirtyfour]

I'd just shut off my computer and wonder why all the "what would you do" crap has been posted lately.

+1

For anyone who hasn't got a plan figured out yet go buy Armed Response by David Kenik. I hear that for a few bucks extra you might even get an autographed copy.

May the hilarity ensue.

 

[edirtyfour]

First, I think my roomba would attack the BG, it attacks everything else, so why not...
Next as my g/f and myself would both be in my bedroom I would proceed to either grab my 12 gauge, in which my g/f would grab it away from me and say MINE!... slightly saddened I would then grab my sig .40 out of the safe, dial 911, and we would both take position behind my bed and aim at the door, wait paciently, when someone passes by the door, decide if it's a threat, take necessary action, grab coffee and wait for police.

Hmmmm if I ever do my doctorate in computer science perhaps I can do my thesis on converting your roomba into HOME GUARDIAN BATTLEBOT 3000! Now with real perp vacuuming action!

 

[pdm]

Hmmmm if I ever do my doctorate in computer science perhaps I can do my thesis on converting your roomba into HOME GUARDIAN BATTLEBOT 3000! Now with real perp vacuuming action!

Get the one that can handle liquid spills. Just sayin'.

 

[lord1234]

Get the one that can handle liquid spills. Just sayin'.

fill the reservoir with ammonia...or bleach...(don't mix the two)

 

[jdubois]

(don't mix the two)

Or do. Or is that against the Geneva Convention?

 

[drgrant]

Hmmmm if I ever do my doctorate in computer science perhaps I can do my thesis on converting your roomba into HOME GUARDIAN BATTLEBOT 3000! Now with real perp vacuuming action!

I have one of these.... mine has an output hose on top, which when triggered, the vacuum (which is set up in reverse) spews forth a violent torrent of my girlfriend's old cigarette butts and ashes at the threat- while simultaneously playing an MC Hammer tape at maximum volume. (There is a ghetto blaster attached to the top of it- I think right now it plays "can't touch this.") There is also a white strobe light which flashes with much intensity. When the perps cross paths with this thing, and set it off, they really don't know what to think, and they run scared shitless. It is trivial for the cops to find the perp later- I just tell the cops to look for a guy that is covered from head to toe in cigarette ash and is ranting about MC hammer trying to kill him.


-Mike

 

[MasterShinken]

Hmmmm if I ever do my doctorate in computer science perhaps I can do my thesis on converting your roomba into HOME GUARDIAN BATTLEBOT 3000! Now with real perp vacuuming action!

You know, funny enough, I have played with the programming kit you can get for the roomba, all you have to do is make a turret system for the top of it, program it a bit to do rounds around the house, add a voice command for it to stop or face recognition so it dont shoot you and you're all set... just hope what happened in robocop dont happen to you, lol

On another note, I think it's work better with the scooba... better able to clean up the wet stains after

 

[Shooter McGavin]

Release ZE HOUNDS!!!

 

[calsdad]

Breakins during the night are a lot less likely than a breakin during the day (when you aren't home). I am starting to hear stories about breakins increasing. The losers are out now that the times are tough.

 

[jdubois]

I am starting to hear stories about breakins increasing. The losers are out now that the times are tough.

We had the local cops stop by the other day because one of our window screens had fallen halfway off the window in a wind gust. The officer said they've seen a lot of break-ins in town lately and the screen was enough for him to want to just check in and make sure everything was ok.

 

[calsdad]

We had the local cops stop by the other day because one of our window screens had fallen halfway off the window in a wind gust. The officer said they've seen a lot of break-ins in town lately and the screen was enough for him to want to just check in and make sure everything was ok.

Friend I work with was just telling me he was driving home from work the other night - a cop car pulls up behind him with the lights going, he pulls over because he thinks he is getting another ticket (another ) - and the cops speeds on past him. As he goes a little further a pickup truck (an old pickup truck) with what looks like three Vietnamese guys goes by him on the other side of the road - just as he gets by the truck a cruiser with the lights going comes quickly up behind them and pulls them over - and then another one comes from the other direction and boxes them in.

The pickup truck has what looks like a brand new snowblower in the back.

This is in Dunstable - not exactly a hotbed of the Vietnamese community.

He also said there have been a lot of breakins in Groton. And he heard a story about something like 12 breakins on the same street somewhere in Leominster I think it was.


Looks like my new front burner project is home security. Last thing I need is a break in at my house.

 

[ephemeratta]

Tyngsboro was hit by a little string a few weeks back. There's going to be a lot of people who were on the cusp already who now have no work at all. Lock up your sh*t.

 

[toga]

Wow, you guys make these scenarios too easy.

Firstly, said intruder would be seriously delayed in any nefarious pursuits by my vicious pair of Welsh Springer Spaniels. Realising they have an uninvited gusts late at night, they would slobber all over them in an effort to extract treats, belly rubs, or both. Then amidst all the doggy ballyhoo that would be going on, I'd elbow the wife in the side and get her up and out of bed for a situation report. Then and only then, would I pull out the pin on the banana skin claymors which would have the intruders slipping and sliding , still being slobbered on by the dogs. Call the cops, then serve coffee and doughnuts to the cops as we chat about local crime stats...

Give me a break. These scenario posts are worse than useless.

Can't believe I just wasted a couple of minutes typing this.

not a waste....im laughing my arse off with this thread

 

[FalArAk]

I am wondering why a person that doesn't own any guns (or doesn't have a license) asks a question like this on a gun board.

These types of threads should be banned...forever.

Or, maybe I'll just start a thread entitled:

" I don't own a gun,but when I get one, I am thinking of going to a bad part of town late at night because it's a free country..What should I carry? "

or..

"Will my penis get bigger when I carry a gun,and is Viagra even necessary while carrying ?"

Same f'n thing.

 

[Half Cocked]

You hear a door open and close. What do you do?

I take care of business and then put in an Overtime slip...

 

[Lucas McCain]

I'm assuming in NH you can sleep with an unlocked, loaded gun under your pillow, or on the nightstand. Not so in MA. The nanosecond you slip into slumberland with an unsecured firearm in your home, you are breaking the law.

Yeah F' that.........

 

[mikem317]

Game on! Chuck-chick!

 

[vellnueve]

You LOCK UP your guns and ammo at night? You've got to be shitting me. Jack.

You know, some people actually try to obey the laws.

I take care of business and then put in an Overtime slip...

I thought it was a paid vacation