That is funny. I've kept a crew cut for 30 years. I swim so much I have no armpit hair. Pre-covid I was swimming 4 miles a day, 5 days a week. Body hair gets dry and brittle.I worked with a guy who shaved his head bald in order to not have to take the annual hair drug test. Joke was on him, they took it from his armpit. He asked what would happen if he had saved that too. The lady just looked at him, she was not amused.
Unsurprisingly he failed the drug test and went into the department mandated rehab protocol. Which he flunked out of and lost his job and pension. Genius.
Granted, I've been sober over 40 years so nothing to find unless I got a random test call right after a surgery or injury. Hasn't happened yet. Probably won't unless I have to get a higher level clearance.