Carrying and dressing like a good guy.

This thread was great for a laugh this morning, at first I took it seriously, then I realized, this was in fact well formed satire.

Well done. Now back to your regularly schedule program of fearing tactical umbrellas.
 
Wellesley Roche Bros. this weekend

Milfs a plenty, with an abundant supply of WASP's, hipsters, and men wearing polo shirts with popped collars.

Not threats perceived.
 
Mike S said:
Wellesley Roche Bros. this weekend

Milfs a plenty, with an abundant supply of WASP's, hipsters, and men wearing polo shirts with popped collars.

Not threats perceived.
Click to expand...
You were the threat - I am sure several "papist with a gun" calls went in, but kudos to the PD for their discretion... [laugh]
 
I slap men at random, then stare them down, just to enforce my alpha male status. Then I grab their girlfriends ass and wink. I keep a pack of Newports rolled up in the sleeve of my short sleeve shirt. This way you see I have tattoos and that I smoke Newports. I grab my crotch and spit a lot. My fighting record is 74-3 with 64 KOs, all three losses were in one night when I drank too much and messed with the wrong 3 midgets. I don't need situational awareness because I fear no one. I don't carry a gun. The gun carries me. I have a 5th degree blackbelt in being awesome and a master's degree in kicking ass....I dont take names because I don't care.
 
SteveCase said:
here you go wolf a quick rundown of last night:

The time was 9:30 pm april 23rd it was a dark and foggy night, i had just finished a beer and just then realized i needed to make a packy run, but the town was dark and the absence of people was apparent. So i had to think quickly I choose to head out and make the best of it, before i left i made a quick look to my tactical wallet (special chain attachement meant for only the most dangerous operators). with that my heart sunk i realized I only had 6 dollars what could i get at the packy with that? sure enough i was able to scrap up enough cash to get another 12'ver of natty ice.
So as I head out down towards the packy i made sure to keep my head on a swivel, checking and scanning all my sectors to make sure no one would get the drop on me, if that is even possible. as make it toward the end of the street a man on a cell phone comes out of a house, so natually I straighten my posture and puffed out my chest. the man was apparently quite afraid for he soon went back into the house after his called ended. He knew what i was about and knew he'd better leave post haste.
as i passed a local moose lodge a man was walking toward me trying to give me the crazy eye but when i made eye contact he knew what was up and didnt figure me as food, the smell of newports puts a fear in a mans heart and this was just another incident in which it held true. by now i was only about 250 yds from the packy i could see it and the wonderful glow of the neon signs. but first i had to pass by a section of apartments. Just as i passed the third door someone opens it i immediately jump back and get into a bladed stance knees bent and ready to strike. but it was only and old woman, but had she been armed with a wiffle ball bat; i wouldve have taken that as threat and acted accordingly.
as a i walk into the packys i walk to the back pickup my 12'ver and head to the front, i give the clerk downward head nod. he asks if i have gotten all i need, i politely ask for a pack of smokes, he hands me newports cause he knows what im all about. as i walk back to my apartment i recieve a text message from this girl, all i remember is texting her the rest of the walk home i honestly dont know if there was anyone else out there i wasnt paying attention.
Click to expand...

OK I'll give you an A+ for the creative writing.
 
Gonzo said:
This is what I try to do. It doesn't work. I look too much like this guy:

AbominableSnowman.jpg
Click to expand...

Bumbles Bounce, or so Yukon Cornelious told me.
 
This thread = Mac: http://itsalwayssunny.tumblr.com/post/199659115/dennis-you-know-dee-i-didnt-want-to-say

Dennis: You know, Dee, I didn’t want to say anything back there because I didn’t want to be rude to the kid but you really gotta be careful just picking up hitchhikers.
Dee: I know, but that kid was like really young and sweet and innocent looking.
Dennis: Yeah, right, but those are the ones you gotta watch out for.
Frank: Those are the most dangerous hitchhikers. The ones that lure you into thinking they’re sane by acting like normal people.
Dennis: They act like they’re normal and then they carve you up.
Mac: No way, it wasn’t gonna happen. I had my eyes on him the whole time. See, I’ve always got an A, B and C strike plan to get us out of any potentially life threatening situation.
Frank: Yeah, he probably just carved up his mother and father and he’s runnin’ away on the road.
Dennis: That’s right.
Mac: Could be, Frank. All I’m saying is that I’m ready for any situation. And that’s why you’re all safe as long as I’m around.
Dennis: …Uh-huh.
Mac: Yeah, I did an ocular pat-down and I cleared him.
Frank: Say what?
Dee: I’m sorry?
Mac: I’m saying that I did an ocular assessment of the situation, garnered that he was not a security risk and I cleared him for passage.
Dennis: What in the hell are you talking about?
Mac: I’m talking about breaking down the security situation, clearing an individual and making it safe for passage.
Dennis: How exactly do you view yourself within the context of our group?
Mac: …the sheriff of Paddy’s.
Click to expand...
 
wolf223 said:
Hannaford:

walk in, grab a cart... commence the shopping. the obvious soccer moms, guys out picking up "one or two things" and teenies working the registers.... senior citizens, mostly a normal crowd.

one gentlemen peaked my interest. he was probably a veteran. if he was carrying, it was deep concealment. his t-shirt was tucked in. buzz cut (high and tight for you HOOAH types), small beer gut but otherwise decent physical condition. we were both in the snack isle. i grabbed some granola bars and he was looking at pop tarts. so i'm guessing we have similar aged children. i did the smile and nod.

that is all. everyone else was sheeple. btw, i was wearing hiking boots, jeans, and a polo. i had my 2nd day shadow, and one-week hair growing in... i'm tall, dark and handsome. [rofl] [rofl]


i was polite to cashiers and helped a short lady grab something off the shelf. safe to say, i'm not food.
Click to expand...

if you had any balls you would have been shopping at Market Basket.. (You spelled aisle wrong, and then incognito in post #13)[wink][smile]
 
Some of you guys talk about being a wolf but concealing yourself as a sheep. Well I'm a sheep and pretend to be a wolf. I accomplish this by wearing a GOAL hat when I go to the super market. The only problem is when some DB comes up to me and talks to me like I'm in-the-know.
 
taggart said:
Some of you guys talk about being a wolf but concealing yourself as a sheep. Well I'm a sheep and pretend to be a wolf. I accomplish this by wearing a GOAL hat when I go to the super market. The only problem is when some DB comes up to me and talks to me like I'm in-the-know.
Click to expand...

[laugh2][rofl][laugh]

Nice!!
 

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