Ivan Chesnokov's take on all things modern and gun

[MasterShinken]

http://www.m1-garand-rifle.com/ivan-chesnokov.php

With such highlights as...

upgraded SKS: "SURE, IS ONLY YUGOSLAV COPY TYPE BUT IS STILL PROUD DESIGN OF SERGEI SIMONOV. THIS IS LIKE SENDING HIM BIRTHDAY CARD WITH SEVERED OFF THUMB OF DAUGHTER IN ENVELOPE. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SERGEI! I PISS ON ALL YOU CREATE!" LARGE MOUND FORMS OVER SIMONOV'S GRAVE BY CONSTANT TUMBLING OF HIS ANGRY CORPSE. IS FAULT OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU. "


5.7: BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON OF MAN WHO WEARS EXPENSIVE ITALIAN FASCIST SUIT OF HAND SEWING, DRIVE HUGE EXPENSIVE NAZI MERCEDES OF A.M.G. SHOP, SAIL ON MASSIVE YACHT TO GREEK ISLANDS. I THINK YOU GET PICTURE. BELGIAN FIVE SEVEN IS WEAPON THAT SAYS IS NO SUCH THING AS CONCERN OF MONEY.

Dating advice: IN RUSSIA WE ALSO HAVE RULES OF COURTING. DO NOT BRING SIDEARM TO FIRST TIME WITH GIRL. SENDS WRONG MESSAGE, THAT YOU ARE BAD CONSCRIPT WHO WILL RAPE GIRL. ON FIRST TIME HAVE DISCUSSION OF GLORY OF PARTY AND DEFENSE OF MOTHERLAND. ON SECOND TIME MANY DRINKS OF VODKA TO MAKE GIRL WANT ****; MATCHING ENOUGH DRINKS MAKES DANGEROUS TO CARRY SIDEARM. ON THIRD TIME IS DEFINITE ****. AFTER THIS YOU MAY BRING SIDEARM ALL AS LIKED.

 

[FreeWillie]

Ivan has always been a favorite of mine. Whoever "Ivan" is, he's given me more than one snicker.

 

[hikerlt]

....LOL....

farts bullet towards target.....



went to that link and couldn't stop reading...was like watching a train wreck, no ?

 

[Alex]

Dating advice: IN RUSSIA WE ALSO HAVE RULES OF COURTING. DO NOT BRING SIDEARM TO FIRST TIME WITH GIRL. SENDS WRONG MESSAGE, THAT YOU ARE BAD CONSCRIPT WHO WILL RAPE GIRL. ON FIRST TIME HAVE DISCUSSION OF GLORY OF PARTY AND DEFENSE OF MOTHERLAND. ON SECOND TIME MANY DRINKS OF VODKA TO MAKE GIRL WANT ****; MATCHING ENOUGH DRINKS MAKES DANGEROUS TO CARRY SIDEARM. ON THIRD TIME IS DEFINITE ****. AFTER THIS YOU MAY BRING SIDEARM ALL AS LIKED.

LMAO.
What sidearm? There's no private handgun ownership in Russia, and conscript aren't issued sidearms, only AKs, which aren't allowed outside a military base.
Funny he didn't mention balalaika, KGB and bears.

 

[lupis42]

KRAV MAGA IS FIGHTING STYLE OF JEW WHO THINKS IS GOOD IDEA TO CARRY PISTOL WITH EMPTY CHAMBER. NOT SO SURE I TRUST THIS MAN TO TEACH HOW TO FIGHT.

YOU MAY LIKE TO KNOW THAT SELFLOADING KARBIN OF SIMONOV TYPE IS COMPLETE SISTEMA FOR SMOKE DOPE, IN ADDITION TO RIFLE FOR KILL ENEMIES OF PARTY.

FIRST EXPUNGE ALL CARTRIDGE FROM WEAPON. REMOVE CARTRIDGE FROM MAGAZINE, REMOVE CARTRIDGE FROM CHAMBER. MAKE COMPLETE SURE IS EMPTY BECAUSE YOUR MOUTH GO ON MUZZLE SOON. ONCE ALL CLEAR CLOSE MAGAZINE.

TAKE CLEANING THINGS FROM ASS OF STOCK. REMOVE MUZZLE GUARD CAP. PULL TO REAR ON BOLT EDIFICE AND LOCK BACKWARD WITH LAST CARTRIDGE STAY OPEN DEVICE. STUFF DOPE INTO MUZZLE GUARD. PUT MUZZLE GUARD NEXT TO MOUTH OF FIRE CHAMBER. NEXT PULL MAGAZINE RELEASE HANDLE AND PULL BOLT EDIFICE TO REAR. VERY SLOW, LET BOLT EDIFICE MOVE TO FRONT CLOSING AGAINST MUZZLE GUARD.

NOW MUZZLE GUARD STUFFED WITH DOPE IS NEXT TO CHAMBER. CALL FOR BEST CONSCRIPT FRIEND. TELL HIM, "YOU HOLD FLAME NEXT TO DOPE AND BLOW. I SUCK ON MUZZLE OF RIFLE." AS YOU DO THIS, SMOKE OF DOPE FLOWS THROUGH BARREL. AFTER ONE OR TWO SUCKS, TRADE PLACE AND HOLD FLAME FOR HIM WHILE HE SUCKS. SOON YOU BOTH SEE GHOST OF LENIN.

REMEMBER TO MAKE EMPTY THE MUZZLE GUARD OF USED UP DOPE. PUT CLEANING THINGS BACK TOGETHER IN ASS OF RIFLE. ALSO NOT FORGET, KEEP RIFLE WITH NO CARTRIDGE IF STILL DOPE IN BRAIN. ACCIDENT DISCHARGE MEANS GULAG FOR CERTAIN.

YOU MUST LEARN COUPLE OF THINGS ABOUT RUSSIAN LANGUAGE. YOU LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE OF DRAGUNOV SNIPER RIFLE. YOU SEE CYRILLIC LETTERS ON PAGE LIKE LANGUAGE OF MOON MAN AND BRAIN IS DIZZY LIKE YOU SMOKE WHOLE GRAM OF DOPE. THEN YOU LOOK AT LATIN LETTERS FOR MAN WHO NOT READ RUSSIAN. YOU SEE "SNAYPERSKAYA" AND THINK IS PLAIN NOUN FOR ENGLISH WORD "SNIPER". IS WORD FOR SNIPER BUT WITH PART FOR TELLING "BELONGS TO" ON END. PLAIN RUSSIAN WORD FOR SNIPER IS "СНАЙПЕР". I KNOW IS LIKE LANGUAGE OF MOON MAN TO YOU, SO LATIN LETTERS ARE "SNAYPER". IS JUST WORD "SNIPER" WITH RUSSIAN ACCENT. NOT SO EXCITING I THINK.

WORDS YOU GIVE MEAN "SPETSNAZ OF SNIPER". YOU WANT "SNIPER OF SPETSNAZ". WAY TO SAY IS "СНАЙПЕР СПЕЦНАЗА". LATIN LETTERS WOULD BE LIKE "SNAYPER SPETSNAZA". HOPE THIS IS SOME HELP.

NOW YOU SEE IT. IN RUSSIAN LANGUAGE WE HAVE SISTEMA OF NOUN CASE. IN ENGLISH YOU MAKE SENTENCE WITH WORDS IN SPECIAL ORDER. PLACE OF WORD IN SENTENCE TELLS FUNCTION OF WORD. IN RUSSIAN LANGUAGE WE USE OTHER SISTEMA. FUNCTION OF WORD IN SENTENCE IS TOLD FROM PARTS ADDED TO WORD. ENGLISH HAD SISTEMA LIKE THIS BEFORE FRENCH STEAL IT WITH INVASION OF ENGLISH CULTURE. NOW IS GONE. ONLY TINY BITS REMAIN LIKE RUIN OF PRIPYAT AFTER NUCLEAR PLANT STAFF ERRORS CAUSE EXPLOSION OF RADIOACTIVE STEAM.

SISTEMA OF NOUN CASE IS FOR BEAUTIFUL SENTENCE. I PICK WORDS FOR TELL YOU SOMETHING. I PUT ON PARTS TO MAKE NOUN CASE AND VERB TENSE AND OTHER THINGS. THEN I ARRANGE WORDS IN ORDER IS BEST FOR REVEAL HOW I CHOOSE. ONLY AT END OF SENTENCE DO I PUT BIG SPECTACULAR PUNCH. IS HARD TO WRITE BEAUTIFUL SENTENCE IN ENGLISH. USING ORDER OF WORDS IS CLUMSY WAY AND BIG PUNCH COMES TOO SOON.

IN CASE IS ANY CONFUSION, IVAN CHESNOKOV IS MASTER OF LANGUAGE. WAY OF WRITING IS ENTIRELY BY DESIGN.

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/11...om_4_chan___add_yours_if_you_have_others.html