someone with a gun in the Burlington Mall

[thebusinessend]

My Office is in right next to the mall and we received an email from HR giving us a reason why the place crawling with police. The building is on lock down currently.

 

[mass]

I have to remember to paint the tip of my umbrella orange.

 

[Sibb]

Burlington, MA: u/d Nordstrom witnesses confirm man with umbrella is the person they saw. Umbrella "looks like a samurai sword".

 

[joeendris]

Do you need a class 3 license for that?

He would need two...one for each leg ><

 

[MrRegis]

That's why I always paint the tip orange, on all of my evil black umbrellas.

 

[R1ch]

Witnesses have IDed him, he's the guy!

 

[atilla]

haha @ the truck taking out their barricade on the highway now...

 

[xtry51]

Burlington, MA: u/d Nordstrom witnesses confirm man with umbrella is the person they saw. Umbrella "looks like a samurai sword".

Looks like a sword? Yet they called it in as a gun? Awesome. Stupid F'ing sheep.

 

[FrugalFannie]

when will the live news coverage catch up?

 

[SteelShooter]

oohh, now they actually said 'alleged; weapon

 

[MichaelJR]

Burlington, MA: u/d Nordstrom witnesses confirm man with umbrella is the person they saw. Umbrella "looks like a samurai sword".

"this just in, suspect has been apprehended with a high capacity samuarai rifle umbrella in his possession, he will be charged with attempted awesomeness"

 

[R1ch]

I don't think they said what was seen to make a witness think there was a gun yet.

 

[XTAV750]

They just said it was actually....... an umbrella. Thats so awesome there are almost no words.










Note to self: when running with umbrella, stay out of the mall.

 

[Flyer007]

I love that we scooped this over the news by so far 5mins and counting

 

[scouter-rick]

So, now is when the media starts interviewing the witnesses and making them out to be hero's who might have saved hundred of lives!

 

[SteelShooter]

well, there goes his suitability.

 

[atilla]

"this just in, suspect has been apprehended with a high capacity samuarai rifle umbrella in his possession, he will be charged with attempted awesomeness"

you have entered a plea of guilty for the charge of attempted awesomeness.

sentencing will now be carried out, you must pound this bottle of cuervo while wearing a sombrero and singing slayer.

 

[TWBARRETT]

An arsenal of assault rifles found at the umbrella store

 

[Keystone]

Seriously? Umbrella? I hope they slap the mall security guys with the bill for rolling all of those cruisers, I certainly don't want to pay for it.

 

[atilla]

all units can clear their posts. the "incident" is now over.

 

[Underwhere]

Units given command to clear the Burlington mall. Situation over.

 

[scouter-rick]

All units can clear...

It's over.

Boy.. that was close.

I wonder if the folks locked in the back of Ann taylor are safe to come out yet?

 

[Another_David]

right now there's a mall cop asking swat how he can join and if his segway training will put him at the top of the list

 

[Flyer007]

Wow...news cleared 15 secs after radio

 

[MichaelJR]

you have entered a plea of guilty for the charge of attempted awesomeness.

sentencing will now be carried out, you must pound this bottle of cuervo while wearing a sombrero and singing slayer.

You must also surrender your dog for immediate execution

 

[XTAV750]

Seriously? Umbrella? I hope they slap the mall security guys with the bill for rolling all of those cruisers, I certainly don't want to pay for it.

But they have hats that look JUST like state police.... so, you know, that makes it more legit.... right?

 

[xtry51]

I bet it's a post ban novelty umbrella. It's clearly illegal since it has more than two evil features:

1) Stops high capacity downpour rain, not just low cap drizzle
2) has a pistol style grip
3) has a telescoping handle.
4) is black

Obvious this guy needs to be thrown in jail and barred from ever owning an umbrella again when he gets out.

 

[joeendris]

you have entered a plea of guilty for the charge of attempted awesomeness.

sentencing will now be carried out, you must pound this bottle of cuervo while wearing a sombrero and singing slayer.

Judge Kick Buttowski presiding...

 

[Lucas McCain]

We now return to your regularly scheduled program already in progress...

 

[Lank]

I bet it's a post ban novelty umbrella. It's clearly illegal since it has more than two evil features:

1) Stops high capacity downpour rain, not just low cap drizzle
2) has a pistol style grip
3) has a telescoping handle.
4) is black

Obvious this guy needs to be thrown in jail and barred from ever owning an umbrella again when he gets out.

Too funny