Surfboard, SIG, or pay the "ex"?

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derek said:
Isn't your daughter in another state? You go by the law of the custodial parent...
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Nope! Although she does live in another state, one of my stipulations of the agreement, is that MA court system retain jurisdiction over this case. So, if she were to fight for more child support, she would have to come up here to do it. And, it was my attorney that fought for these concessions.

In MA, it is NOT immediate 25% of your income for child support. Two people, can come to an agreement, on all matters of custody, and support, have their respective attorneys draw up documents, and have a judge bless it. As long as both party's are in agreement, the judge will question it, but when told that both party's agree to it, will sign off on it, making it a legally binding order.

BTW, Florida child support laws are almost a mirror of MA.
 
Adam_MA said:
In MA, it is NOT immediate 25% of your income for child support. Two people, can come to an agreement, on all matters of custody, and support, have their respective attorneys draw up documents, and have a judge bless it. As long as both party's are in agreement, the judge will question it, but when told that both party's agree to it, will sign off on it, making it a legally binding order.
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Of course this is true. The agreement is only good until one of the party's wants to go back to court and get it changed however....
 
LenS, I hate to say this, but we can't wait for the court to do something. Not that I want to see my son in jail, but he's being arrogant and petty about the whole thing. My wife has cried hereself to sleep more times than I want to count because she can't see her grandaughter because of a disagreement over where Christmas presents should stay, at the Dad's house, with his stepchildren, or at the mothers house where the two boys live full time. Dad wouldn't let the two boys take our presents home with them.

It's just a suck, nasty situation. My first choice of solutions would be a baseball bat up the side of his ear, but my wife has maade me promise not to make it worse, and for her I go along.
 
derek said:
Of course this is true. The agreement is only good until one of the party's wants to go back to court and get it changed however....
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Yep, and under my agreement, that term was 7 years...... And that was to keep the vindictive bitch from trying any BS.

Now, if she would like to, she could of course do so, but I am in a MUCH better financial position then I was before, eg. I would not have to take out 3 personal loans (they took me over 5 years to pay off) just to cover the legal fees to get what I wanted, and I would fight until she gave up.

I'm a bastard like that!
 
My MA stipulations have been broken twice. No questions asked.

I know Joint custody is different, but its rare for any judge to agree with Joint if the Mom says she wants custody. Thats a done deal for me anyways.

Believe me, I am willing to throw a $2,000 retainer on your lawyer right now if he can do anything. Knock it down to $200 a week, or just keep it the same, until kid is 18. But I have have used three of the BEST divorce lawyers on the Cape. A huge part of me wants to believe you, but I know its false hope.
 
depicts,

I'm sorry you are in that position. One of the reasons that I pushed my custody battle through an 8 month ordeal in and out of the court system, was to make sure that not only me, but my sister, and parents had all their due rights to see my daughter. ESPECIALLY in the event that I f'd up on my end of the bargain, which is not that far of a stretch of the imagination.

BTW, have you spoken to an attorney? Their is such a thing as Grand Parents rights to children. So, even if your son is being a tool, you and your wife would at least have access to your beloved grandchildren.

Not sure where you are in the state, but I could give you the name of an attorney that deals with this stuff.

Adam
 
Producer said:
My MA stipulations have been broken twice. No questions asked.
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I guess one of the ways I lucked out, is that my ex wanted to move to FL. She already had an apartment picked out, and a lease signed. When I found out, it was a Saturday, and she called me saying "If you want to see your daughter, I suggest you do so, because Monday I am moving to FL" That Monday morning, I was in court getting a restraining order against her so she couldn't leave the state. I pulled her and her family through the mud, making it impossible for her dad to retire from the military until I was satisfied I got EVERYTHING I wanted out of her, and then let her go. I had the judge actually say to me... "Son, I have seen you in here more times than I can remember, I hope this time, you both have this worked out between you, so everyone can move on"

The DOR once tried to tell me they were raising my support amount, I called them up, and screamed until I got a second level manager on the phone. I told him, that as soon as he could produce court documents stating that my ORDERED support amount changed, then I would NOT increase my payment.

BTW: I have never once, nor will I EVER bitch about how much I have to pay for CHILD SUPPORT. In my eyes, alimony is a scam, and I would go broke, quitting EVERY DAMN job I ever had that they tried to take money from me, before I would pay that shit!
 
depicts, sorry to hear about that. I had tension with my parents over similar matters when they were kissing my ex's butt just to see their grand kid more.

They finally figured out she was being manipulative and showed me more respect over the years. However, I knew right of the bat not to let my problems interfere with with my parents. So it did not get that bad. It 's been seven years so things are pretty much back to normal.

On a side note, one thing my parents did do right was kick my butt out of the house when I was 18. I learned quick that I needed a good education and need to get a decent job on my own. Tough Love sucks, but it worked well in my case on that.
 
Derek, thanks for the sympathy.

Adam Ma...I'm in Norton, but a lawyer would do us little good I'm afraid.

We see our Grandsons quite regularly thanks to the good grace of our former daughter in law.

As for our son and his new daughter, she was 2 last weekend. We have seen her 4 times, and never at our home. There is always an excuse and a reason we can't go there.

I've given up. I am holding in so much anger I don't ever want to see him again, or his wife.

My Wife wants to see our grandaughter, so she takes this crap, but we have already been told that if we do any kind of a court action, they will relocate down south to Florida or somewhere else. As it is he has moved out of state to RI.

My wife has been wonderful and patient through all this, hoping for a solution, but I'm afraid nothing will change until the new wife gets a Med change or is out of the picture. While it might be possible to win Grandparents rights in court, considering what it would do to my wife, I don't want to persue it. She gladly visits when she is allowed.

Producer...we know we may be a pawn in this whole deal. This is one of those cases where the parents don't respect each other or seem to know how to be reesponsible for their children. They My son and the new wife comment about the ex all the time in front of the kids. My former Daughter in Law seems to be doing a good job, and now, over time, I guess we're on her side in the matter, though we really don't want to choose
 
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Tough situation....

I would caution you about giving in to his will, and his threats to relocate. If that were to happen, it doesn't seem that you would be much worse off...

BTW, if you need someone to kick you son's ass.........................
 
depicts said:
Producer...we know we may be a pawn in this whole deal. This is one of those cases where the parents don't respect each other or seem to know how to be reesponsible for their children. They My son and the new wife comment about the ex all the time in front of the kids. My former Daughter in Law seems to be doing a good job, and now, over time, I guess we're on her side in the matter, though we really don't want to choose
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That is unfair. Especially, with the kids being used. Best wishes.
 
Stories likes this strike fear in my heart [shocked]
Getting married August 13th, no prenup, I might as well be playing Russian roullette. I agree that alimony is BS, it should have died when woman's lib came about.
 
Adam Ma, son is 6'3" 280 lbs and has been lifting wood all his life. He's an academy trained former policeman, and I still think I could handle him with the bat, but thanks for your offer, I'll keep it in mind!
 
Producer said:
Prenup is good. But its about the kids. So it won't help ya there.
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Putting off kids as long as possible. Too many guns out there to buy, too many competitions to attend. Hopefully if it's gonna break up, it breaks up before kids, even if it doesn't usually work that way. Knowing us, we would wait till the kids were in college to divorce anyway.
 
adweisbe said:
Stories likes this strike fear in my heart [shocked]
Getting married August 13th, no prenup, I might as well be playing Russian roullette.
Click to expand...
First, congratulations on the upcoming nuptials.
Second, if you really believe that getting hitched without a prenup is akin to Russian roulette then you should either a) not get married, or b) ask for a prenup.
If you think there's a chance she'll hose you for whatever you're worth then there are deeper issues there that should be solved before you go and make a legal issue out of it.

Just my nosy $0.02 [wink]
 
And try to keep in mind, despite what you've read here, not all women are moneygrubbing bitches waiting to put some poor man through hell. Some of the men are actually busy putting women through hell. I lived through it, it isn't fun. And, boys, I did not put him through any wringer, got no alimony (didn't want it) and got minimal child support, only because the courts insisted on it. He wanted out and I let him go. He, on the other hand, didn't pay his taxes to the tune of $2800. I did only because I'm a sucker (and they had to be joint one last time). It just isn't always against the men, and I get tired of the generalizations.
 
reinbeau said:
And try to keep in mind, despite what you've read here, not all women are moneygrubbing bitches waiting to put some poor man through hell.
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I dug my own grave
 
my 2 cents, or $200 that is....

hi folks,
no, i do not pay alimony or child support, so no visit from teh sheriff!

i "owe" $200 for my daughter's soccer club, but i also paid $800 for soccer camp. and she says she does not have the $400 to give me! and she makes 3x my salary. she wants the $200. go figure that out...

anyway, it was meant to be a "fun" thread, and my apologies to those of you who have had or have it tougher than i. like ann said, it is no fun.

i think we can end this thread!!
-rob
 
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