Whats the dumbest thing you ever did when you were in the service?

Cavalry has been captured by the Armor branch. But the Cav always considers themselves "The Keepers of the Flame" even if the Infantry and Artillery have to do a lot of the work. Many if not most of the traditions of the Army stem from the Indian wars fought by Cavalry soldiers, one example being the dress blue uniform with the faded blue pants.

In the 7th Cav (you know, Custer?) officers got "The Talk." The talk is this: the 7th Cavalry does not do surrender. You fight to the last man. If you're not interested, here's your transfer. General Eric Shinseki (former Commander of 3-7 Cav) was ACOS when we invaded Iraq, and the 3rd ID and 3-7 Cav were the lead element in the Army's assault. I doubt it was a coincidence.

There are many famous Cavalry officers, the two most famous being Pershing and Patton. The "Cav Track" was the hot road to promotion for many years, with a large number of ACOS (Army Chief of Staff) officers originally Cavalry officers. Why? Because in the Cav you are thinking "maneuver" and "combined arms" all the time. And Cavalry units are always deployed on borders or at the front, so they tended to spend more time in the field and on maneuvers.

All kind of moot now that the Soviets gave up and so many units are dismounted patrols in urban areas and mountains.

So, what do Cavalrymen really think of all the other branches?

Halfway down the trail to hell
In a shady meadow green,
Are the souls of all dead troopers camped
Near a good old-time canteen
And this eternal resting place
Is known as Fiddler's Green.

Marching past, straight through to hell,
The infantry are seen, '
Accompanied by the Engineers,
Artillery and Marine,
For none but the shades of Cavalrymen
Dismount at Flddlers' Green.

Though some go curving down the trail
To seek a warmer scene,
No trooper ever gets to Hell
Ere he's emptied his canteen,
And so rides back to drink agaln
With friends at Fiddlers' Green.

And so when man and horse go down
Beneath a saber keen,
Or in a roaring charge or fierce melee
You stop a bullet clean,
And the hostiles come to get your scalp,
Just empty your canteen,
And put your pistol to your head
And go to Fiddlers' Green.
 
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May 5, 1916: the Blackhorse brought it all to bear again Pancho Villa's forces. They killed several and wounded a bunch, but didn't lose a man. They even sicced the dogs on 'em!

lastcharge.jpg
 
At NTC my M-60 had a jam. The bolt was stopped just a hair off the blank cartridge and I couldn't pull it back or extract the blank. So with the top cover off I was able to push the bolt forward with my thumb. Bad idea, when it did go forward and engaged the blank the firing pin dropped. The bolt coming back after that was enough to make my thumb numb for a couple days but I should be thankful it's still on my hand. That was my dumbest thing.

Another story I witnessed was from one of those lifer E-5's, think he was an E-5 for over 10 years when I was in. Anyways C4 needs two things to detonate which are heat and pressure. Smash it with a hammer all you want or burn it to heat water but never the two together. We acquired some extra from a demo range one day and at night we were burning some for fun and heating food. Suddenly the lifer E-5 Sgt Morris sees the 1st Sgt humvee pulling up and not wanting to get caught with the contraband C4 we were burning yells out "Tops humvee is pulling up, somone step on the C4 and put it out!!" Now I don't know if that would have been enough pressure but I'm glad someone with some more sense took action before the other sgt did.
 
Didn't have any trousers during Class A inspection... by BN SGM. As acting first squad leader I had to be there to inspect my guys. What to do... I formed up and did it just like every other time, but without any pants on. Told one Soldier he was missing a service ribbon. he replied with "you don't have any f**king pants on." Luckily SGM was on old Infantry grunt with a good sense of humor and a little respect for guys with balls (and questionable brains).
 
natehendo said:
Didn't have any trousers during Class A inspection... by BN SGM. As acting first squad leader I had to be there to inspect my guys. What to do... I formed up and did it just like every other time, but without any pants on. Told one Soldier he was missing a service ribbon. he replied with "you don't have any f**king pants on." Luckily SGM was on old Infantry grunt with a good sense of humor and a little respect for guys with balls (and questionable brains).
Click to expand...

F*cking awesome.
 
natehendo said:
Didn't have any trousers during Class A inspection... by BN SGM. As acting first squad leader I had to be there to inspect my guys. What to do... I formed up and did it just like every other time, but without any pants on. Told one Soldier he was missing a service ribbon. he replied with "you don't have any f**king pants on." Luckily SGM was on old Infantry grunt with a good sense of humor and a little respect for guys with balls (and questionable brains).
Click to expand...
Be all you can be, publicly. LOL
 
natehendo said:
Didn't have any trousers during Class A inspection... by BN SGM. As acting first squad leader I had to be there to inspect my guys. What to do... I formed up and did it just like every other time, but without any pants on. Told one Soldier he was missing a service ribbon. he replied with "you don't have any f**king pants on." Luckily SGM was on old Infantry grunt with a good sense of humor and a little respect for guys with balls (and questionable brains).
Click to expand...

You win![rofl][rofl][rofl]
 
Two stories come to mind..back in 1969 flying in a C130 from Aviano Italy back to RAF Lakenheath England. For some reason they stop at an airbase in Germany, while on the ground another guy and me used the relief tube to take a leak because we had been drinking wine we snuck aboard.

It seemed to take forever before they took off again, turns out they thought they had a fuel leak. Crew chief finally realized what we had done, though he never found out who did it.



Basic training at Amarillo Air Force Base, JUly 1968. Because of the heat we were doing PT inside hangars for several days where I developed hemroids doing situps on the hangar floor.

Went to sick call where they gave me suppositories for the problem. When they didn't work I went back several days later where the annoyed medic treating me like an idiot, explained, " First we take the foil off "....I interrupted ," What foil?"
 
TomD said:
It seemed to take forever before they took off again, turns out they thought they had a fuel leak. Crew chief finally realized what we had done, though he never found out who did it.
Click to expand...

A good crew chief sticks his fingers in the leaked fluid, rubs it around to check viscosity, and then smells the fluid to try to determine it's identity. At last resort, he'll taste it.

Nice job dude!
 
Dumb Stuff

KBCraig
Dude, if the crew chief can't tell your piss from JP-4, you're drinking the wrong stuff!
Click to expand...

No.... if the crew chief can't tell piss from JP-4, you are drinking the RIGHT stuff!

I have lot of dumb stuff USN things. First off, allow me to explain that there is no statute of limitations when it's secret enough. So saying that, I will not tell you about the weekly poker game in the Nuke Missile Warhead Armory.

This, of course, has been relayed to me from a distant friend that has no relation to me other than being an anonymous contributor on a long gone BBS from years back. Got you obfuscated enough yet?

Flight deck on a dweat big haircwaft cawwier, somewhere at sea, well after midnight under a gorgeous starry sky with an 80 degree 30 mph breeze blowing across the flight deck. I walked out the starboard hatchway one half deck below the flight deck, aft of the island and climbed the ladder to the flight deck. There was enough starlight to see enough so that no additional lighting was required.

I was wearing a light jacket because even at 80, the breeze made it feel cool after working all day in engineering spaces. I walked out to the middle of the flight deck as there was nothing going on and all flight ops were secured. I made a pillow with the jacket and lay down feet forward and looked at the stars for a half hour. It was a pretty sight that you cannot get anywhere on land unless you are far far away from civilization.

There was a glimmer of green from the bridge and the ship's running lights were as bright as street lamps. I fell asleep knowing that the PA would awaken me if there was anything important and I did not have to be anywhere for almost 8 hours.

I woke up to discover that we were now in complete cloud cover, had gone to darken ship and if you put your hand to your face slowly, the only thing you knew that you hand was close was the fact that the noise had changed. Running lights were gone, skylight was gone and the only way you knew which way was up was the fact than gravity pulled down.

I had 2 choices. 1: get off the flight deck or 2: wait till dawn. For some stupid reason, I chose #1.

Ok... I knew my feet pointed forward and to my right was the way I got here. Hands and knees, very very slowly I made it to the starboard side. For those of you that have been to sea you are aware of the phosphorous white silent pops that appear in the wake of a ship as the phosphorus is stirred with air and water. Normally it is quite pretty to see, but when all you can see is those little silent white explosions, you realize there is nothing between you and the water 80 some odd feet below.

I was feeling well out in front of me with one hand and then the other, to make sure I had flight deck under me. I eventually came to the edge and then the conclusion that all I had accomplished was make it to the edge of death. There was a ladder along this side somewhere.

Not liking to put my upper body over the side to feel for the ladder, I turned around and began probing with my leg and foot for the ladder. Nothing. Move a little aft..... probe, nothing. Move a little aft, probe, nothing. I was counting the number of movements so that if I did not find it, I could reverse direction and make it to my start point and then repeat going forward.

Time always feels either slow motion so that 1 second is out to 20 when you are in the sh&*t and I knew I had been probing for the ladder for 3 days. Nah that could not be right.

A LADDER IS FOUND!

Is it the right one, or does this one just go down 40 feet and stop?

I squeeze slowly onto the ladder hanging on to the flight deck with hands until I can take one off and still get back topside. I go down about eight rungs to the catwalk that only goes forward and that is what I remembered coming up here. Feeling along the bulkhead for hatch cover latches, and taking my time to insure not to miss anything, I finally find a hatch and undog the latch.

Noon time lights inside! Well they weren't there was one very dim red light 100 feet away but is was walking into NY City!

I've never been afraid of the dark or the ocean except for a few well deserved times and this is one of them!
 
smokey-seven said:
KBCraig

No.... if the crew chief can't tell piss from JP-4, you are drinking the RIGHT stuff!

I have lot of dumb stuff USN things. First off, allow me to explain that there is no statute of limitations when it's secret enough. So saying that, I will not tell you about the weekly poker game in the Nuke Missile Warhead Armory.

This, of course, has been relayed to me from a distant friend that has no relation to me other than being an anonymous contributor on a long gone BBS from years back. Got you obfuscated enough yet?

Flight deck on a dweat big haircwaft cawwier, somewhere at sea, well after midnight under a gorgeous starry sky with an 80 degree 30 mph breeze blowing across the flight deck. I walked out the starboard hatchway one half deck below the flight deck, aft of the island and climbed the ladder to the flight deck. There was enough starlight to see enough so that no additional lighting was required.

I was wearing a light jacket because even at 80, the breeze made it feel cool after working all day in engineering spaces. I walked out to the middle of the flight deck as there was nothing going on and all flight ops were secured. I made a pillow with the jacket and lay down feet forward and looked at the stars for a half hour. It was a pretty sight that you cannot get anywhere on land unless you are far far away from civilization.

There was a glimmer of green from the bridge and the ship's running lights were as bright as street lamps. I fell asleep knowing that the PA would awaken me if there was anything important and I did not have to be anywhere for almost 8 hours.

I woke up to discover that we were now in complete cloud cover, had gone to darken ship and if you put your hand to your face slowly, the only thing you knew that you hand was close was the fact that the noise had changed. Running lights were gone, skylight was gone and the only way you knew which way was up was the fact than gravity pulled down.

I had 2 choices. 1: get off the flight deck or 2: wait till dawn. For some stupid reason, I chose #1.

Ok... I knew my feet pointed forward and to my right was the way I got here. Hands and knees, very very slowly I made it to the starboard side. For those of you that have been to sea you are aware of the phosphorous white silent pops that appear in the wake of a ship as the phosphorus is stirred with air and water. Normally it is quite pretty to see, but when all you can see is those little silent white explosions, you realize there is nothing between you and the water 80 some odd feet below.

I was feeling well out in front of me with one hand and then the other, to make sure I had flight deck under me. I eventually came to the edge and then the conclusion that all I had accomplished was make it to the edge of death. There was a ladder along this side somewhere.

Not liking to put my upper body over the side to feel for the ladder, I turned around and began probing with my leg and foot for the ladder. Nothing. Move a little aft..... probe, nothing. Move a little aft, probe, nothing. I was counting the number of movements so that if I did not find it, I could reverse direction and make it to my start point and then repeat going forward.

Time always feels either slow motion so that 1 second is out to 20 when you are in the sh&*t and I knew I had been probing for the ladder for 3 days. Nah that could not be right.

A LADDER IS FOUND!

Is it the right one, or does this one just go down 40 feet and stop?

I squeeze slowly onto the ladder hanging on to the flight deck with hands until I can take one off and still get back topside. I go down about eight rungs to the catwalk that only goes forward and that is what I remembered coming up here. Feeling along the bulkhead for hatch cover latches, and taking my time to insure not to miss anything, I finally find a hatch and undog the latch.

Noon time lights inside! Well they weren't there was one very dim red light 100 feet away but is was walking into NY City!

I've never been afraid of the dark or the ocean except for a few well deserved times and this is one of them!
Click to expand...

Outstanding post!
 
Mucho Thx Sky.... ahhh the word, "Outstanding".

Yea...... I spent weeks getting a shit house boat into great shape mechanically, and then another couple months dodging inspections as I completed the task at hand. (Story forthcoming but it takes a few minutes to compose well.) When finally caught and pretty much ready for inspection, the E9 and the Lt. CDR went down the ladder to the small engine room and as they had both been the prior inspection party and the Boss Hoss looked around and marveled at the transition. Long story short mode on, the Lt. CDR looked around and mumbled, "Beautiful!"

The E-9 said, "Excuse me sir?"

Boss Hoss, repeated, "f***in beautiful!"

E-9 entered on the inspection report not outstanding, but wrote in ABOVE that grade, "BEAUTIFUL"

Hey.... I never got one of those before! LOL! Remind you of the Yosarian thread?
 
I went AWOL once when on leave. I got a recall for a CALFAX or Live Fire Exercise and I was a 90 gunner in my unit CoC. Abn 4thBN 9th Inf in AK in Febuary and I was on leave in San Diego! 1st Sgt called me back and I got alittle rebellious..Long story short,after i admited to effing up to the 1st Sgt,which ASTONISHED him all I got was a week of extra duty.
 
Dumbest thing I ever did was to drink 3 double screwdrivers and 2 shots of Ouzo on an empty stomach and then getting into the center of the backseat of a tiny Fiat cab with 5 other shipmates (Mind you, this was a 4 passenger car). As I slowly got carsick, I turned to my friend on the left and asked him to roll the window down, but since he was as wasted as I was he did not understand, so I promptly threw up all over my buddies and in the floorboard of the cab. The poor cab driver kept saying that the police was going to arrest him for having so many passengers as I handed him a wad of vomit covered bills to cover the cleaning costs. Unfortunately, someone had a camera and took pictures of me leaning over the side of the ferry as we went back to the carrier. Surprisingly, those pictures made their way onto the bulletin board in the squadron ready room. It was un-nerving to be asked by the CO if I was feeling better while he had a smirk on his face. Luckily we had a good CO at the time. The CO before him probably would have chewed my ass off.
Compared to some of the things I have seen and heard, this is pretty tame, but it's all I have to offer. Sorry!!!!!!!
 
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timbo said:
I was an avionics tech in the Navy, worked on and flew in E2-B early warning aircraft. My squadron was deployed on the USS Nimitz in the Med (1977)...I had just come off an arduous 12 hour shift (nights) one 3 hour flight and then spending the rest of the 9 hours repairing various systems in the aircraft...the last system I had to repair that night was the doppler radar system. I located the problem and it was a box in the "hell hole" of the aircraft, a space in the rear of the aircraft right behind the tailhook and the only way in there was through a trapdoor in the bottom of the aircraft.

I replaced the box (about 75 pounds) by installing it into it's mounting plenum rack, tightened down the ratchet wingnuts, gave it a good tug on the handles and safety wired it. I signed off the job gave the MAF (maintenance action form) to my supervisor to inspect and sign off and went to bed.

About an hour later I was woken up rather vigorously and was told to report to the maintenance Chief's office...I got up, confused as all hell, and stumbled down to his office...there in his office was that same doppler box I'd installed a few hours before and totally mangled...It seems that when I installed it, the two male pins on the bottom of the doppler unit didn't fully engage the female sockets on the plenum and when the plane was catapulted off the deck, it flipped out of the plenum, went crashing through the hell hole door and went skidding down the deck and ended up in the nets that encircled the carrier deck...I guess the airboss went apeshit and wanted to know what the hell happened...they cleared the deck for an emergency landing because in that hellhole is all kinds of control hydraulic lines for the rudders, elevators, etc etc. They didn't know if the box had clipped one or more of those lines as it came flying out and the crew wasn't taking any chances, understandably.

Fortunately, I was fairly new to the squadron being that I was only a 3rd class PO at the time, all I got was a severe toungue lashing...the guy that signed off my MAF (who was a 1st class PO as well as a 1st class asshat) never went out and actually checked the repair like he was supposed to do...he just assumed I had done it correctly. He ended up losing his inspector's credentials (QAR) for a few months. Being aircrew, I fully understood the implications of what had just happened...I could've killed 5 crewmembers and one of them could've been me. That hit me like a ton of bricks.

I learned two things that day...one, always double check your work, no matter how simple the job may seem to be and two, when I got my QAR (quality assurance rep), I always always always, checked the work...if anyone asked me why I would tell them this story.

One other thing, for those that haven't spent any time on a carrier, cameras are always rolling during flight ops forwrd deck and aft deck. I got to see the launch of that E2-B on the film and watching that plane spit that box out of it's back end as it went careening down the deck was very sobering. I considered myself very fortunate I didn't end up getting busted (or worse).

That was the stupidest/dumbest thing I ever did in the service...
Click to expand...

Shit Dude, you won!!! The worse thing I did was forget a screwdriver in an S-3B that was getting ready to launch. I told the flight deck chief and they had to pull the plane off the cat so that I could retrieve my tool. It did not stop the flight, but it did take off late. I know that they wanted to chew me out, but the fact that I fessed up to the mistake, they didn't since it may keep others from doing as I did. That screwdriver probably would have embedded itself into the computer during the cat shot and shorted it out.
 
Well, suffice to say, the bars in Atlanta closed around 0400 hours and we stood guard mount at 0600. One Sunday morning, I went in to draw my weapon and when the armorer issued me my magazine and ammo, I turned the ammo back in. He asked "Why? What? WTF!" I told him that I was so hung over that getting shot or stabbed was preferable to hearing that .45 go BOOM!
 
smokey-seven said:
KBCraig

No.... if the crew chief can't tell piss from JP-4, you are drinking the RIGHT stuff!

I have lot of dumb stuff USN things. First off, allow me to explain that there is no statute of limitations when it's secret enough. So saying that, I will not tell you about the weekly poker game in the Nuke Missile Warhead Armory.

This, of course, has been relayed to me from a distant friend that has no relation to me other than being an anonymous contributor on a long gone BBS from years back. Got you obfuscated enough yet?

Flight deck on a dweat big haircwaft cawwier, somewhere at sea, well after midnight under a gorgeous starry sky with an 80 degree 30 mph breeze blowing across the flight deck. I walked out the starboard hatchway one half deck below the flight deck, aft of the island and climbed the ladder to the flight deck. There was enough starlight to see enough so that no additional lighting was required.

I was wearing a light jacket because even at 80, the breeze made it feel cool after working all day in engineering spaces. I walked out to the middle of the flight deck as there was nothing going on and all flight ops were secured. I made a pillow with the jacket and lay down feet forward and looked at the stars for a half hour. It was a pretty sight that you cannot get anywhere on land unless you are far far away from civilization.

There was a glimmer of green from the bridge and the ship's running lights were as bright as street lamps. I fell asleep knowing that the PA would awaken me if there was anything important and I did not have to be anywhere for almost 8 hours.

I woke up to discover that we were now in complete cloud cover, had gone to darken ship and if you put your hand to your face slowly, the only thing you knew that you hand was close was the fact that the noise had changed. Running lights were gone, skylight was gone and the only way you knew which way was up was the fact than gravity pulled down.

I had 2 choices. 1: get off the flight deck or 2: wait till dawn. For some stupid reason, I chose #1.

Ok... I knew my feet pointed forward and to my right was the way I got here. Hands and knees, very very slowly I made it to the starboard side. For those of you that have been to sea you are aware of the phosphorous white silent pops that appear in the wake of a ship as the phosphorus is stirred with air and water. Normally it is quite pretty to see, but when all you can see is those little silent white explosions, you realize there is nothing between you and the water 80 some odd feet below.

I was feeling well out in front of me with one hand and then the other, to make sure I had flight deck under me. I eventually came to the edge and then the conclusion that all I had accomplished was make it to the edge of death. There was a ladder along this side somewhere.

Not liking to put my upper body over the side to feel for the ladder, I turned around and began probing with my leg and foot for the ladder. Nothing. Move a little aft..... probe, nothing. Move a little aft, probe, nothing. I was counting the number of movements so that if I did not find it, I could reverse direction and make it to my start point and then repeat going forward.

Time always feels either slow motion so that 1 second is out to 20 when you are in the sh&*t and I knew I had been probing for the ladder for 3 days. Nah that could not be right.

A LADDER IS FOUND!

Is it the right one, or does this one just go down 40 feet and stop?

I squeeze slowly onto the ladder hanging on to the flight deck with hands until I can take one off and still get back topside. I go down about eight rungs to the catwalk that only goes forward and that is what I remembered coming up here. Feeling along the bulkhead for hatch cover latches, and taking my time to insure not to miss anything, I finally find a hatch and undog the latch.

Noon time lights inside! Well they weren't there was one very dim red light 100 feet away but is was walking into NY City!

I've never been afraid of the dark or the ocean except for a few well deserved times and this is one of them!
Click to expand...

You are lucky that you did not get run over by a tow tractor or stepped on by an overweight flight deck chief!!!
 
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I was not involved in this and only heard about it afterwards, but my Cav squadron had a brand-new platoon leader who thought that butter bar made him an expert on everything.

One night he found himself thoroughly trussed up in his sleeping bag and tied to the main gun tube of an M1 Abrams with WD-1 (commo wire), and then someone put the fire control system through self-test. whiirrrrr.... whiirrrr...whiirrrr... ka-CHUNK, ka-CHUNK
 
I did many many stupid things. Some came back to bite me, some I got away with. Telling my supervisor to go f himself was a big one. Got nailed on that one, but many other things went without notice.
 
bubbaj said:
I did many many stupid things. Some came back to bite me, some I got away with. Telling my supervisor to go f himself was a big one. Got nailed on that one, but many other things went without notice.
Click to expand...

Sorta told my supervisor to go F himself in a round about way. He thought I should sleep with him to get more rank.[rolleyes] Well he'd out processed and came back up to the site where we worked and wanted to come back in where we worked. We had changed the code for our area and he was also no longer listed on our access sheet.
Me being me wouldn't let him back in our area, and ever soooooooo nicely told him no.[laugh]
Next day at work my new supervisor asked me why I hadn't let him back in our area, my saving grace was that he was not listed on our access sheet outside our door.[laugh]
May take me awhile,but I did get even.[smile]
 
MrsWildweasel said:
Sorta told my supervisor to go F himself in a round about way. He thought I should sleep with him to get more rank.[rolleyes] Well he'd out processed and came back up to the site where we worked and wanted to come back in where we worked. We had changed the code for our area and he was also no longer listed on our access sheet.
Me being me wouldn't let him back in our area, and ever soooooooo nicely told him no.[laugh]
Next day at work my new supervisor asked me why I hadn't let him back in our area, my saving grace was that he was not listed on our access sheet outside our door.[laugh]
May take me awhile,but I did get even.[smile]
Click to expand...
Please tell us you called the MPs on the attempted intruder who then proned him out for 10s of minutes with the shepherds sniffing his privates and him trying not to look at 5.56mm circles pointed at his head while his "access" got straightened out. I love stories like that.
 
kevin9 said:
Please tell us you called the MPs on the attempted intruder who then proned him out for 10s of minutes with the shepherds sniffing his privates and him trying not to look at 5.56mm circles pointed at his head while his "access" got straightened out. I love stories like that.
Click to expand...

Ummm no, you would have had to know our MP's that worked on that site.[laugh] One of them while cleaning his weapon, discharged it into the ceiling. They were not very competent and I can't tell you how many popped hot on a piss test and got thrown out of Berlin.[laugh]
 

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