Whats the dumbest thing you ever did when you were in the service?

I have never served in the military (15 years old) but my Uncle has a friend who served in the Navy during Vietnam. Before going into port, the ship would always go under a bridge, and apparently the bridge of the ship would be wicked close to hitting it every time. Apparently they once hatched this plan: There was a new recruit on the ship, and he was greek or something and could hardly speak English. They told him, that the bridge of the ship would actually lower down into the hull when a button was pushed, in order to clear the bridge. They were able to convince the kid and told him he would be the one to press this button. So basically, they stood the kid in front of a button, that merely unlocked a door or something and told him to hit it when they said so. Approaching the bridge... "Okay press the button" *Kid presses button* "PUSH THE BUTTON!" *Kid begins repeatedly smashing button panicking* From there the kid apparently freaked out thinking they were all gonna die and made a dash to the edge of the ship in an attempt to get off it. My Uncles friend was able to stop him ad they cleared the bridge no problem lol.
 
Big Daddy 45acp said:
Well, suffice to say, the bars in Atlanta closed around 0400 hours and we stood guard mount at 0600. One Sunday morning, I went in to draw my weapon and when the armorer issued me my magazine and ammo, I turned the ammo back in. He asked "Why? What? WTF!" I told him that I was so hung over that getting shot or stabbed was preferable to hearing that .45 go BOOM!
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Wonder how I made it through Korea without doing that!
 
1971 RVN I was a 2LT Inf assigned to 2/327 I butt stroked an EM I did not get along with. I was arrested, court marshaled. Stripped of my commission and reduced to the lowest enlisted rank E-1. I was sentenced to serve 12 years in the Federal prison at Leavenworth. My farther, a WW2 veteran and a Captain visited me once. He smuggled in a razor blade and instructed me to try and do the right thing for disgracing my self and family.

The United States Military does not allow Enlisted or Officers to assault each other and under the UCMJ sever penalties are proscribed.

The above incident did not happen, but if it did the the results would have been the same.
 
John1090 said:
1971 RVN I was a 2LT Inf assigned to 2/327 I butt stroked an EM I did not get along with. I was arrested, court marshaled. Stripped of my commission and reduced to the lowest enlisted rank E-1. I was sentenced to serve 12 years in the Federal prison at Leavenworth. My farther, a WW2 veteran and a Captain visited me once. He smuggled in a razor blade and instructed me to try and do the right thing for disgracing my self and family.

The United States Military does not allow Enlisted or Officers to assault each other and under the UCMJ sever penalties are proscribed.

The above incident did not happen, but if it did the the results would have been the same.
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I thank you for your service LT. Especially because I know you had to deal with a**h***s in your Platoon in 1971 like me![rofl][rofl]
 
Lip said:
It's funny I managed to survive boot, after the gernade toss I wanted to watch. The Di managed to crush all of me in my helmet.
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When I went through Basic a girl was in the pit with the DI and instead of throwing the grenade it rolled of her fingers,talk about throwing someone out of the pit and one really pissed of DI.
 
More grenade fun :)

I drilled with the guard for 6 months before i left for basic....
So, i'd gone through a lot of training before leaving for basic...
Grenades, claymores, first aid, etc.... I'd seen practice grenades before, so when a bunch of us were standing around BSing during basic, and one of our drill sgts came up and tossed one in the middle of us.... I pushed the guy near me out of the way, yelled GRENADE! And jumped ontop of it....

They other guys freaked out, the DS must've nearly pissed himself laughing... But the move earned me a few points. :)

From my HTC EVO via Tapatalk
 
I traded my friend a happy meal for his live hand grenades during our platoon live fire this year... He got a milk shake, I got three cans of awesome. Definitely the best barter trade I have made since I left Iraq. You'd think they would let infantry train with the explosives we are expected to use in combat; but, it's almost like they know better or something... That and a game of HMMWV long jump are some my favorite memories.
 
hurley431 said:
I traded my friend a happy meal for his live hand grenades during our platoon live fire this year... He got a milk shake, I got three cans of awesome. Definitely the best barter trade I have made since I left Iraq. You'd think they would let infantry train with the explosives we are expected to use in combat; but, it's almost like they know better or something... That and a game of HMMWV long jump are some my favorite memories.
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Back in the stone age when the hummers were new, my Plt Leader and Sgt took the first one out. After a long speech extolling the qualities of the hummers to us, including the stability of said equipment they promptly rolled it.
 
Mykanos, Greece, '94. We pulled up, weighed anchor and set hot-plant watch details. For non-Navy folks, hot-plant is when the ship is self-sufficient, boilers running making hot water and electricity and the main engines are slowly cranking over at 1-2rph.

Liberty boat to shore.
Drinks, food, more drinks, night life.........oy, what's this? A feline? And he's friendly enough to be petted? Slick. Under the sweatshirt you go, old boy.
Liberty boat back to ship, wavering slightly.....because it was a choppy ride, of course [wink]
"Permissshhh-un ta c'm abbbpppoart?"
"Granted, go to bed!"
Head to the berthing, release hidden cat, breaking almost 2 dozen international quarintine laws /facepalm
Pick up cat, head back to the quarterdeck...
"shee whut I juss brought on boart under yer no-shes?" For some strange reason, Senior Chief Mastar-at-Arms didn't find that funny...

3 weeks ship-bound, 3 weeks "cinderella" liberty (had to come back with the E-3s and below). According to the Capt., while intoxication made his tirade a little fuzzy to remember, I do remember "shitbird" being part of it.

But man, what a fun port [thumbsup]
 
ChuckInMass said:
Got accepted for the Rotary Wing Aviation Program and turned it down (but then again, It was Vietnam and already had one tour...but I could be working for WBZ now)
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Gee seems like they needed chopper pilots bad???
I was US ARMY SIGNAL CORP 1960-1964. When I was ready to get out I was in SINOP Turkey. They found out I had my pilots license and offered me a Warrant Officer position flying.
So I checked it out. I said I wore glasses so how could I get in??
They said because I was already in they would waiver it!!! Next thing I know I was offered Roto-Wing School ??
Lets see Vietnam going on and it seemed to me Chopper pilots were sitting ducks, so wearing glasses wasn't a problem.
I got out instead & never looked back.
I was never sure I did the right thing.
May not have been the dumbest thing but thought I would throw it out after I saw chuckinmass post***
 
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Nothing too bad. Wasnt paying attention and started removing the 25mm on the Bradley. Step 1 is to take out the barrel. Forgot that part so when I got to step 3 while sitting in a tiny turret with the gun elevated about 160 lbs came slidding down and pinned my arm to the back wall. No place for leverage so had to yell for help.

Now if you want to hear about what the others did, well those are the good stories (and only one hostage situation).

Sent from my SPH-P100 using Tapatalk
 
I forgot when I accused the CO (we called him Barney) of negligance. We were out in subzero weather with almost no cold weather gear and the heaters on the vehicles failing including my Bradley's catching fire next to me.

He covered it up and never did anything in retaliation as I had all the proof.

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My word, it was a long time ago....

It was Guantanamo Bay Cuba, swinging around the anchor on an aircraft carrier over 40 years ago. We had booms rigged out about 75 feet long and our small boats were in the water tied to the boom. There were man lines hanging at intervals. These were larger diameter lines than the mooring lines and had knots tied at intervals to enable either decent or climbing up from the boats.

The Division officer asked me to change out a bad bilge pump on a 36' motor whaleboat. I grabbed what I needed for parts, tools, tool bag and a length of line long enough to lower the bag down to the boat from the boom. The boom was rigged fore and aft by steel cables and there was a steel cable and stanchions for hanging on to while walking out the boom, but the boom itself was a little sloppy and would move a bit. This damn thing was only 12-18 inches wide and it was a 50 drop to the boats so walking on it was cautious to say the least.

I made my way out, lowered the bag to the boat and went down the knotted line to the boat. The 36 footer had twin hatch covers over the 671 Diesel and engine room. They latched together fore and aft with a hook and eye that kept them up while you worked in the space. I replaced the pump, tested it and all was done. I placed the tool bag on the deck and proceeded to unlatch the hatches. I bent down to get my light and when I stood up, the hatch was coming down on me.

These hatches are stainless steel and not too heavy, probably 25 pounds apiece, but it was coming down on my head so as I ducked, I threw up my arm to fend off some of the impact. The edge of the hatch hit my forearm and it laid me open like a knife. I climbed out of the engine room, took out a rag from the tool bag and tied it around the gash with my teeth and other hand. I looked at the tool bag and said the hell with that and started climbing the rope.

I was bleeding quite heavy and I took a break halfway up and locked my legs around one of those big knots. I looked down at the boat and to my severe disappointment saw six very large sharks swimming around below. They obviously had a taste and were looking for the meat.

I made the boom top in record time and onto the ship some 40 feet away faster than I ever did before. As I climbed over the rail back on the ship an officer asked if I needed help as my arm was saturated from elbow to hand with blood. I looked back at the sharks and back to him, smiled and said, no thanks, it's only a scratch and beat it to sick bay.
 
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Back in 78 while at 29 Palms for training, my unit was from New River MCAS and we were with some guys from Cherry Point, Quantico and Beaufort Crash Fire and Rescue. It was at the end of our deployment and my shift had just finished a 48 hour shift and we were exhausted. We got back to Camp Wilson aka tent city as the work crews started to take it down. As we got off the 6x6 some captain from one of the squadrons ordered us to break camp. After telling him we just worked the entire weekend our NCOIC from the deployment walked over and reamed us than ordered us to work. A good friend with us served with this moron in Da Nang and hated him with a passion. We walked away formatting a plan. As a PC drove by I said follow me and rolled into the rear under the canvas cover along with 4 others. To our surprise the Sgt Major of the squadron was sitting in back laughing at us and said we were out of our minds and said he hated our NCOIC too and later at main side bought us a beer.

After many beers and hours later a plan was made to go 4 wheeling. Problem was we had no vehicle. We got a ride back to tent city then basically snuck under the wire, past the sentry, pushed the crash crew command pickup truck outside the gate, started it up and all of us jumped in then took off with the guard screaming.

We drove around in the desert for awhile until we were hungry. We drove to the crash crew where we knew there would be some food. All that was left were C Rations. Not to mention any names but the guy who hated the NCOIC decided that he wanted his meal warm and started a fire using the Master Gunny's teak engraved name plaque off his desk he got when he was in the Philippines. After that for some reason one guy got some white spray paint and was up on the roof. He artistically painted in big letters Master Gunnery Sgt. Portwood sucks and it was flanked with the eagle, globe and anchor.

Our fun ended as 4 jeeps and pickups drove up with MPs. We screwed in the truck with them chasing us. We knew the area better than them and lost them in the desert with the lights out.

As the sun was rising we drove to the flight line where everyone was sleeping on their cots or milling around. We jumped out of the truck and laid in the unused cots. The MPs drove up and were pissed cause no one ratted on us and didn't catch us.

Back at our base on the East Coast the OICs were pissed and wanted to hang us but had no proof. As I walked out of the office my NCOIC said, best one yet but did you really have to use that a**h***'s plaque for firewood? One guy said, the teak gave it that smoke flavor and made it taste better. Afterwards we heard that as the pilots flew down the runway they could read the writing on the roof and all had a good laugh.
 
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Now that I'm on a computer I will add more from my unit in Germany.

1) During operations in the Kosovo a local decided to walk into the middle of an armored convoy from the equivelant to the driver side on a Bradley, didn't go so well as the driver can't see that side well. Two missing legs and they never told the driver.

2) Had an LT who's parents died. His school loans got paid off and he spent a couple weeks dealing with it stateside. The platoon even pulled together a few hundred dollars for him. Well about a month later the CQ got a call from his mom.... Some fraud charges and a court martial later he went off to prison. His degree was in physics, not the smartest rocket scientist in the world.

3) One of the soldiers in the unit got drunk and decided he didn't like the look of the triple plate glass window in a German storefront so he kicked it in. As far as I know he still has glass in his leg since the doctors couldn't get it all out.

4) My driver was the perfect soldier.... in uniform.... give him a task and it's done and done right. If he takes off the uniform and starts drinking. In one case a local attacked him while using the urinal. The soldier turned around and knocked him out with a beer bottle, then finished using the bathroom and left. In the worst case another soldier kept trying to pick a fight, my driver was good that night and avoided him. Until the other soldier followed him and assaulted him in the bathroom. When all was said and done the commo guy's blood was on every wall, stall, floor and ceiling and was in a coma and once again my driver walked away (and got busted down).

5) Another soldier was diagnosed with claustraphobia (in a unit of Bradleys). Some of the officers and NCOs thought he was faking it so they held up his transfer. Finally he lost it, kicked the mechanic who was guarding the Stingers in the balls, took his weapon and ammo, the took an officer, an NCO, and a couple others hostage at gunpoint. One of the German SWAT team equivelants was called in but it ended peacefully. He got less time than the fraud LT. Too bad they pushed him, he was a great guy and even after he was imprisoned we would pick him up to transport him to the hospital without manacles.
 
WargameHub said:
4) My driver was the perfect soldier.... in uniform.... give him a task and it's done and done right. If he takes off the uniform and starts drinking. In one case a local attacked him while using the urinal. The soldier turned around and knocked him out with a beer bottle, then finished using the bathroom and left. In the worst case another soldier kept trying to pick a fight, my driver was good that night and avoided him. Until the other soldier followed him and assaulted him in the bathroom. When all was said and done the commo guy's blood was on every wall, stall, floor and ceiling and was in a coma and once again my driver walked away (and got busted down).
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Funny, I don't remember driving you around?
 
I guess that sort of thing wasnt that rare. Soldiers and booze.

Unless you were a 14R it wasnt you.

Sent from my SPH-P100 using Tapatalk
 
Lip said:
LOL yeah as a lowly 95b10 I threw a SFC out a window. Beat that courts martial, got me kicked out of Korea though.
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I knocked out an SFC once. Coming back from the mail room, I was reading a letter from my Grandmother. In the letter was a newspaper clipping. I read the clipping before finishing the letter. Well the article was about an officer involved shooting in my hometown and they didn't name the officer until the very end. My Uncle had shot and killed the guy.

So, I'm standing there in a state of disbelief, finishing the letter and thinking about blowing off duty after lunch and calling home. Then I get grabbed from behind. No verbal warning or notice, just grabbed by the shoulder. Whoever it was was trying to spin me around. I complied and followed up with a right that came from down in Mobile, Alabama. Out cold on the deck was my platoon Sgt.

Got locked up on that one and requested to see the Chaplain. All charges dropped due to duress and my emotional state at the time. However, all NCOs announced themselves whenever they approached me from behind after that.
 
I threw a Filipino whore through a wall for trying to steal my wallet...BEFORE I f*$%^d her. Got us all thrown out of that place. That broad had $3.00 of my hard earned Marine Corps pay....gotta love Subic Bay!!!
 

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